A Different Kind of Christmas Experience

           Christmas is always one of those magical times that every family looks to embrace in their own special way.  For our family, we always said that once we had children we would celebrate Christmas in our own house on Christmas morning and plan to be with our families at different times throughout the holiday season.  We felt that there was a great deal of joy that could be experienced as our children heard the Christmas story, opened their presents, and shared a special breakfast together in the comfort of our own home.  This year however was just a little, alright really a lot different.

            To set the stage a little bit we have working through the Adam Hamilton study The Journey as a church this Advent season.  As we have traveled this road together I learned some interesting new insights about the journey that Mary & Joseph took to the place where Jesus was born.  I was able to reflect upon the Christmas story this season with a true understanding of what it must have felt like for them because we to have been on a journey, where there has been no room in the inn for us.  On December 20^th, we were released from our rental house, with joyful hearts as it had been a difficult place to live for the past six months.  We were planning on closing on a new house and starting the next chapter of our lives, however there were some unexpected “speed bumps” that jolted our path drastically.  As we were loading the U Haul full of our earthly possessions we received a phone call that we would not be closing on our new house and may in fact have to wait even longer to be in our new house.  As the day rolled on we found out more troubling information about this house that we had thought would be a new start for us, which made us question our decision even more.  As time rolled on we found ourselves embracing the story of Joseph and Mary as we found ourselves without a home.  We were blessed with wonderful people from our church that opened their homes for us to hang out, store our belongings, and try to figure out the situation that was unfolding with our lives.  We found ourselves, homeless for Christmas, which was a struggle that had not nor could we foresee before it happened.

            Thankfully we are blessed with amazing family who welcomed us into their homes for this past week and friends who have extended grace towards our family in amazing ways.  It has truly been a humbling experience this Christmas season for our family.  The day after Christmas we ran into more issues with our “new” house and decided to walk away from the sale entirely.  This was a painful decision but one that we felt would best benefit our family.  After we walked away from the sale, the seller came back and tried to lure us back to their property, however, we knew deep down that we had made the right decision.  With all of this unfolding, we have started the process of purchasing another house, waiting for the underwriting process to start, and redoing inspections, appraisals, and loan conditions.  While this is not an enjoyable process, we believe that this is what God desires for our family during this season.  We have had several loving families from our church offer to “house” us for a week at a time and feel truly blessed to be surrounded by such a loving body of Christ.  I firmly believe that these people do not simply feel obligated to help us because I am on staff, have two small children, or simply because we need a place to go but because they genuinely love Jesus and want to share His love openly and freely.  It is amazing to see the body of Christ at work in such a mighty and powerful way.

            As we move forward in the coming weeks and towards the purchase of a new house, I would ask that you please keep our family in your prayers as we discern God’s plan for our house.  Please pray for our children, as we attempt to give them some sort of stability during this time of transition.  Pray for our church family as they freely and openly extend grace to our family, that their lives will be richly blessed for their generosity. 

            Despite our circumstances, we are truly blessed to have amazing people in our lives, to be serving at an amazing church, and most importantly to have a loving God that is guiding our path, even when things seem so uncertain.  Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers during this time in our lives as they mean more than words can express!

What Does “Loving All” Really Mean?

          This past week our students concluded their series in conjunction with the season of Advent entitled, Advent Conspiracy.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We all want our Christmas to be a lot of things. Full of joy. Memories. Happiness. Above all, we want it to be about Jesus. What we don't want is stress. Or debt. Or feeling like we "missed the moment". Advent Conspiracy is a movement designed to help us all slow down and experience a Christmas worth remembering. But doing this means doing things a little differently. A little creatively.  It means turning Christmas upside down.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows, “Is there something your family or friends could do together to love those who might be considered ‘the least of these?’” 

                Loving all is a theme that is often talked about, preached on, and wrestled with in Christian circles.  Despite the time we spend talking and hearing about it, I wonder how often we actually follow through with loving everyone.  How often do we look past race, economic differences, and religious backgrounds to truly love someone who is different than us?  How often do we love those people that society deems invisible or detestable, outside of the Christmas season?  How often do we really seek to love others in the manner that Jesus instructed us to in Matthew 25:35-36?  Do we really embrace the idea of “loving all” or is it just something that we like talk about?

            For me personally, this concept of “love all” began to take shape a few years ago when I was attending a youth workers convention in the fall.  We were in Nashville, Tennessee for the convention and it was a wonderful time.  We were blessed to worship with thousands of other youth workers from around the world, hear inspiring messages, learn about how to more effectively reach teenagers, and acquire several “loads” of free stuff from the various ministries in the exhibit hall.  Each night we would go back to our hotel rooms and shift through the various “treasures” that we had acquired.  This was a wonderful feeling that came once every year and we loved it, however this particular year something different happened that changed our thinking about loving other people as Jesus did.

            Each evening as we would leave our sessions we would find ourselves walking through the cold to get back to our hotels, however many of us completely ignored the homeless men/women that were laying on the heating grates, asking for money, or simply wanting to talk.  Many times we would rush off to our hotels completely oblivious to the immediate needs of the people that we walked by, over, or around every night.  One particular evening one of the individuals that I was with, stopped us and asked us to look at a homeless person trying to sleep on a hard metal heating grate for the evening.  They asked us to look through our bags and see if there was anything that we could do to help this person.  We began to dig through our bags, ashamed that for several nights we had walked right by this person (or others like them) without even a second glance.  We found ourselves wrestling with the fact that so many of us had been worshipping and hearing about God’s love but failing to share it.  That night something changed deep in my soul, causing me to look differently at how I love everyone.  I realized that it was not a choice of whether I wanted to or not but something that God called me to do as a Christian.  God doesn’t call us to act when it’s convenient, often times it’s not.  He doesn’t tell us to love others only if we feel like it.  He didn’t back out when He died on a cross for me (and you) so I can’t back out on Him.  Sure, loving everyone the way God loves us may cause us to be uncomfortable or challenged but isn’t that what the life of follower of Christ should embrace?

            So my challenge to you this week is to think of ways that your family or friends can seek to love others as God loves you.  This may put you in an uncomfortable or challenging situation where your stomach knots up but think about the love that Jesus gave us with His death on the cross.  Shouldn’t we be willing to do the same for others because of His love for us?

How Do You Celebrate?

          This past week our students started a continued in their series in conjunction with the season of Advent entitled, Advent Conspiracy.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We all want our Christmas to be a lot of things. Full of joy. Memories. Happiness. Above all, we want it to be about Jesus. What we don't want is stress. Or debt. Or feeling like we "missed the moment". Advent Conspiracy is a movement designed to help us all slow down and experience a Christmas worth remembering. But doing this means doing things a little differently. A little creatively.  It means turning Christmas upside down.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows, “Most of us have struggled at one point with how best to celebrate Christmas.  For some Christians, things have gotten so out of hand that they no longer give gifts to anyone.  What are some of the ways that you have chosen to celebrate Christmas? 

                Celebrating Christmas is something that I have always had an internal struggle with.  Selfishly, I have enjoyed getting presents from a variety of people in my life.  There has always been something about the feeling of opening a present, the surprise of what it could be, and the joy of knowing that it is mine for as long as I want it.  Sounds a little sad, doesn’t it, but I think that if many of us were honest this is where we find ourselves every Christmas.  Personally, I think that this type of mentality is shaped by the consumerism of our culture which leads us to believe that if we have the latest/greatest thing we will be “happy.”  However, as we find this is often not the case and our desire to be left “happy” only leaves us feeling “empty.”

            However, over the past few years, my understanding of Christmas has changed drastically.  While I still enjoy getting presents, there has been a great deal of joy in giving presents through the lives of my children.  I enjoy seeing them, and my wife, light up on Christmas morning because of a special present that they have received and the joy that fills my heart is unexplainable.  There have also been times that we have been able to bless others through our generosity, which has helped change the way that we, as a family, celebrate Christmas.  The old saying, “giving is better than receiving” is starting to ring more true in my life each year. 

            One occurrence of this has become apparent through the life of my wife’s grandmother.  Nanny has always been someone who sought to bring joy to the lives of others through her generosity and loving spirit.  She would bless our family each year with special ornaments that included a handwritten blessing on them for something that she would pray for during the upcoming year.  This along with her personal stewardship of the gifts that God has blessed her with deeply touched my heart.  During the past couple of years, Nanny has been placed into an assisted living facility due to her ongoing battle with Alzheimer’s and dementia.  My mother-in-law decided that she wanted the legacy of her mother to live on, so she created a project that each of our families are to carry out every Christmas season.  Each family receives a certain dollar amount that they are asked to use to serve other people in need this Christmas season.  There are no parameters on what can be/should be accomplished, other than to spend the money in a creative manner, as a family, and to help others in need.  These projects have always been interesting as we seek to involve our children in the planning, purchasing, and giving of these projects.  This year, we chose to take the gift and “adopt” a foster child, who would not have a Christmas without the sponsorship of someone.  We talked about this project with our children, took them to the store to shop for gifts for this little boy (which was a small challenge considering our son is the same age and has several of the same interests), and wrapped the gifts for this special little boy to open on Christmas morning.  As I mentioned, this is a challenge to involve a two and four year old in the project sometimes, but the teaching moments that have come from this are wonderful. 

            This is simply one way that we have chosen to celebrate Christmas each year.  I am thankful for my wife’s family, their giving spirit, and their desire to carry on the legacy of a wonderful woman for many years to come.  So as you reflect upon, your Christmas season this year, what are some ways that you are seeking to celebrate Christmas?  What are some steps that you can take to work together as a family to share the blessings that God has given to you?  May you find a new or special way to celebrate Christmas this year as a family!

How Are You At Waiting?

          Currently our family is undergoing a challenge of waiting.  I have to be honest that as someone who likes to have some sense of control and direction on things, this is extremely challenging.  While it is challenging it has caused me to think about a couple of different items in my life.

First, I think it is necessary to provide the context why we are waiting currently.  We made a decision six months ago to move to Ohio to start in a new ministry position.  This opportunity has been incredible as I am blessed to work with a great staff, amazing volunteers, and students that are hungry for the Word of God to make a difference in their lives.  As with any move to a new setting you need a place to live, which we found in the form of a rental property that we were going to call home for a year.  However, after six months of encountering challenges with this property we have been released from our lease and free to find another housing option.  It was amazing how God paved the way for us to get out of our rental property, have the necessary funds to purchase a home of our own, and provide the perfect house for our family.  As we moved through the process things have progressed very well, however with almost everything being completed we were asked to wait before we find out our closing/moving date.  Maybe this is challenging because Christmas is coming and I wanted to be in our own home for that special day.  Maybe this is challenging because I like to have some form of control in my life, which I think we all secretly really want.  Or maybe this is challenging because I am not willing to trust God completely.  This last one caught me off-guard as I have been wrestling through some thoughts this week, but may be the most accurate. 

I have been working through the book Greater by Steven Furtick recently and I stumbled across this prayer/explanation yesterday in my reading.  “Here’s my life, Lord.  It’s open ended.  And it’s pointed the direction of the next step You call me to take.  No matter what it costs.’ This is what’s crazy about fully surrendering to God in this way: On the one hand, it feels as if you’re losing control.  Because essentially you are.  But on the other hand, an amazing freedom comes from praying a prayer like that.  Because when you do, your heavenly Father takes the outcome of your obedience into His responsible hands.  You no longer have to carry the weight on your own.’”  I have to be honest and let you know that after reading that quote some things in my life started to come in a little clearer.  I started to reflect on everything that God had done for me in my life, things like, all of the times that He provided for me, the times that He took care of my family even when I couldn’t, the times that He guided me through difficult situations / circumstances / conversations, just to name a few.  I then wondered why is it so hard for me to trust God with this situation.  As I was thinking about that I read another quote from the same book that said “God does not necessarily tell you how He will do it, only that He will do it.”  In the pages that followed the book reflects on the story of Abraham, who God calls to leave his home and go to the land that God will show him.  God didn’t tell him where or when he would find it but simply that God would lead him there.  Our family currently finds ourselves in a similar boat in that we know where God is leading but we don’t know when.

After reflecting on these thoughts for almost a day, I wondered if anyone else is having this same struggle right now in their life.  Maybe it’s with a situation of where to move.  Maybe it’s with a situation surrounding your job.  Maybe it’s with a bold dream that you’ve never had the courage to pursue.  Maybe it’s waiting on God to reveal the next step for your life, family, or ministry.  Whatever the case what would your life look like if you began to trust God more, became comfortable in the waiting stages of life, and celebrated the arrival when you got to your destination?

What Are You Really Saying?

          This past week our students started a continued in their series in conjunction with the season of Advent entitled, Advent Conspiracy.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We all want our Christmas to be a lot of things. Full of joy. Memories. Happiness. Above all, we want it to be about Jesus. What we don't want is stress. Or debt. Or feeling like we "missed the moment". Advent Conspiracy is a movement designed to help us all slow down and experience a Christmas worth remembering. But doing this means doing things a little differently. A little creatively.  It means turning Christmas upside down.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows, “As parents what does your approach to gift-giving at Christmas teach your children/students about worship?  What does it teach them about contentment?”

Gift-giving is a part the consumerist culture that surrounds the United States today.  A few days after Thanksgiving this year I was listening to the radio about a report of the damages done by Hurricane Sandy, which totaled about $20 billion to date.  This number astonished me because of the thought about everything that was lost and the number of families that were affected.  However, what shocked me even more was that in the next breath, the voice on the radio began talking about the spending of the United States on “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” this year.  Those figures combined totaled around $59.1 billion that we spent towards Christmas gifts for others and ourselves.  I found myself stopping and thinking about the message that we are sending to other countries about our spending but more importantly our children.  As a father, I always want to provide for my children and see them succeed in life; however what effect does my spending/gift-giving have on their understanding of worship and contentment?  Hearing these figures caused me to stop and question the message that I am sending.  I understand that I am only person and while I may not be able to change the attitude of our entire culture, as that would be one huge battle, I can change the attitude/behavior of my household. 

I was recently having a conversation with someone in our office about this theme and they told me a story about their children and something that had assisted in changing the culture in their home.  Their children looked forward to getting a special gift from their grandparents each year, however about five years ago the grandparents started to change the trend by purchasing an animal for a family in need around the world.  They would then give the children a stuffed animal representing the animal that was purchased.  At first, the children seemed a little discouraged by the gift but after gaining an understanding of why it was purchased and who it was helping, the attitude changed.  Each year now the children look forward to seeing what animal they will receive with the hope that one day that will have every animal that was on the ark with Noah!  This change in attitude came from one family’s decision to move in a different direction than the culture that we find ourselves surrounded by every day. 

So how does this play out in your home this Christmas season?  What does your approach to gift-giving teach your children/students about worship and contentment?  This past week we challenged our students to work diligently on finding (or making) that special gift that would show their parents and siblings just how much they love them.  As soon as the words left my lips you could see the wheels turning about what they could do and I’m sure that they will come up with some wonderful things for their families during this Christmas season.  Please understand that by “spending less” you do not love your family any less but rather seek to cultivate the relationship you have with them because of the time, energy, and planning that goes into finding or making that special gift for them. 

As for me, I am working on this in my own home this season to help my children understand that Christmas is about more than presents.  It is about worship of the birth of our Savior and contentment with what God has blessed us with.  Will you join me on this journey to help our children gain a better understanding of how our gift-giving can reflect an attitude of worship and contentment this holiday season?

Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

          A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog about “Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People,” which turned out to be the highest viewed blog I have ever written.  After reflecting on that I realized that these challenging questions are those things that often need the most attention in our faith journey but that we often times choose to brush aside because of their sensitive nature.  This past Sunday, I was another “tough” question by one of our students which was “Is everything that happens really a part of God’s plan?”  This question was also raised by my four year old son this past week after I told him that I visited our stillborn daughter’s grave.  He asked me, “Daddy, why did God allow that to happen,” which was a question that I was not prepared to discuss with my four year old at the time.

            Is everything that happens really a part of a bigger plan or story that God is somehow weaving together to tell His Story?  The truth is that I personally believe that everything is connected and that there are lessons that we all can learn through the different situations that we face.  Please understand that I am merely pulling from own understanding, by making this statement, that God has taught me some powerful lessons from the biggest challenges I have endured during my faith journey. This question is another wonderful question that I wanted to take a few moments to unpack.

            One particular instance that I believe started a series of connected events in my life was when my son was born prematurely and placed in the NICU for the first month of his life.  Daily, my wife and I would lift up prayers to God asking for a miracle to heal our little boy who was spiraling in the wrong direction health-wise.  We found ourselves praying, crying, and listening to every little “ding” of the machines that were helping him.  We struggled with what God was teaching us through this situation but his time in the hospital connected to several other events in our lives both immediately and later down the road.

            First, his being in the hospital built up our character.  It demonstrated a need for us to trust in God and rely on His promises each day.  This character that we are able to have strengthened through this time of testing provided a solid (although often times it doesn’t feel that way) foundation for future situations that we would encounter.  I don’t think that we would be able to lean into God with as much trust as we try to now without this experience.  This is one way that we see a connection between multiple events in our lives.

            Second, his being in the hospital allowed us to give birth to joy, compassion, and hope.  We found ourselves starting to rejoice with the children/families that were able to go home before we were.  We found ourselves having compassion upon the children whose parents didn’t come to visit them often, and we had hope that our son would be healed and would go home with us soon.  We noticed that we were focusing on several of positive attributes of God such as joy, compassion, and hope rather than focusing on the negatives which changed our hearts and the attitudes of those around us.  By seeing this desire to focus on the positive rather than the negative we found ourselves willing to look for the positive in future situations as well, which has not always been easy.  This is the second way that we see a connection between multiple events in our lives.

            Third, his being in the hospital allowed us to be used by God for the good of others.  During our time in the hospital we were able to openly talk about our faith to the nurses and doctors, pray without a fear of being judged or persecuted, and answer questions about God, faith, and the role it played in our lives.  We have also been able to use this experience to speak God’s love into the lives of others who have had children in the NICU or even lost children when they needed some type of comfort the most.  This is the third way that we see a connection between multiple events in our lives.

            Ultimately, his time in the hospital led to a great deal of prayer, sharing our faith with others freely, and talking to others about their own children/faith journeys openly.  This one experience has altered the lens that I look through when I face other situations each day.  Do I think that everything is connected and we are a part of a much larger story, yes!  My challenge to you is to face the opposition you deal with head on asking the question, “What is God trying to teach me through this situation?”  Then utilize that lesson to alter your view towards challenging situations in the future because my guess is that you will be able to use those lessons in a positive way that will help you in the future.

Stepping Stones

          The holiday season has always been something that has amazed me, but probably not for the reasons that you may think.  Sure, there is the rejoicing that takes place during Thanksgiving, the chaos of Black Friday, and the anticipation of Christmas morning that all fall during this time span, but the amazement for me always hits in another way.  I am always amazed at how much more the hearts of people are open during the Christmas season.  We give more to others, help the less fortunate, and are willing to help those in need more.  This has always been something about the Christmas season that has amazed me.  As Christians, we are called to embrace this attitude everyday but the world only seems to think that a span of 30 or so days is sufficient.  What would happen if our outlook changed and we starting embracing this call to love everyone, everyday rather than simply during the Christmas season? 

This thought has been creeping around in the back of my mind for some time now, but after the events of Thanksgiving weekend and a sermon I heard this morning, I wanted to share a little with you.  You see this morning one of our pastors preached a sermon about people being “stepping stones” in our lives.  These are people who help us move from “wandering” to “having a life of plenty.”  These people impact our lives and forever alter the course of our life in a more positive direction.

This past week/weekend I had three interactions with people who served as “stepping stones” in my life.  The first was a homeless man that we encountered at a Hardee’s on our trip to see family.  We noticed that he was hungry and could only afford a cup of coffee so we decided to purchase him a meal of his choosing from the menu.  He was so grateful and appreciative for a simple purchase that cost us at most $8.00.  He served as a “stepping stone” in my faith journey because he reminded me of the need to be open to helping those who are less fortunate and God’s desire for us to love everyone.  The other two “stepping stone” moments were with people who I have had an attachment to for several years.  The first was a pastor/mentor/friend who passed away a week ago.  Stan served as a mentor/friend to me and helped me discern God’s calling on my life.  I can honestly say that if it were not for his guidance/leadership/wisdom that I would not still be in ministry today.  He walked with our family during a challenging time, prayed for a healthy birth with our second daughter with us, and helped us gain a deeper understanding of God’s love for us through his preaching.  On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to go to his viewing to say one final goodbye to Stan and thank his family for the impact that he had on the life of our family.  I was amazed at the number of people who poured in, the remnants of his life that were on display for everyone to view, and more importantly with the stories that people shared about the impact that Stan had on their lives.  He was truly a genuine pastor who cared for others with the heart of God and his legacy will live on for many years to come.  Stan was a “stepping stone” in my faith journey. 

The last person who impacted me during this Thanksgiving weekend was our daughter Callie Grace.  Callie was stillborn at thirty-three weeks and we only had a few moments to hold her which we cherish to this day.  We love our little girl that is in heaven watching over us every day.  When I went to the viewing for Stan, I decided that I would also visit the grave of our daughter because it was in the same town and we hadn’t been able to visit her grave for quite a while.  I found myself weeping uncontrollably as I approached her grave because I was reminded of the impact that this little girl had on my life.  Without ever saying a word or taking a breath outside of my wife’s womb she forever altered our paths.  She taught me about love as I realized how much I love that little girl, which was far beyond anything I had ever felt before.  She taught me that tears are alright and the fact that God will comfort you in your time of need.  Callie taught her stubborn father several lessons in the few moments that we had together and the five years that I have wondered what her life would be like today.  Callie Grace, you were a “stepping stone” in my journey of faith.

So I ask you to reflect upon who has been a “stepping stone” for you in your faith journey.  As you think about that person maybe you could reach out to them personally or their family if they have passed away to thank them for having such an impact on your life.  As we go through this holiday season may you thank God for the people who have been a “stepping stone” in your life and be that “stepping stone” for someone else who may need it more than you’ll ever know.

What Do You "Really" Want for Christmas?

          This past week our students started a new series in conjunction with the season of Advent entitled, Advent Conspiracy.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We all want our Christmas to be a lot of things. Full of joy. Memories. Happiness. Above all, we want it to be about Jesus. What we don't want is stress. Or debt. Or feeling like we "missed the moment". Advent Conspiracy is a movement designed to help us all slow down and experience a Christmas worth remembering. But doing this means doing things a little differently. A little creatively.  It means turning Christmas upside down.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The first week’s discussion questions read as follows, “What word would best describe what you want to experience this year during the Christmas season?  What are some of the obstacles that get in the way of that happening?”

Christmas has always been one of those holidays that I have had a changing view about.  As a child I remember the joy that I used to feel with the anticipation of Christmas coming, the presents that were given, and the joy that was experienced.  However, as time went on I found myself seeing Christmas in a different light.  I found myself questioning why Christmas was being pushed earlier in the year every year and other holidays, like Thanksgiving, were being ignored completely.  I felt like Christmas was getting too much attention and I started having a bit of an Ebenezer Scrooge mentality towards the holiday.  However, during the Christmas season of 2009 I found myself unemployed and struggling to really celebrate the holiday the way that I thought it should be (or at least the way that I always had).  It was at this point that I was introduced to a new way of thinking about Christmas through the Advent Conspiracy.  This thought process emphasizes the need to worship fully, spend less, give more, and love all during the Christmas season.  In the coming weeks I will unpack the themes that are presented through this series after wrestling with this week’s questions I feel that the word that best describes what I want to experience during the Christmas season this year would be presence.

 
          Presence is one of those themes that emerged as a result of this study but has continued to grab at my heart strings each year.  Presence is defined as “the fact or condition of being present.”  Personally, this demonstrates the greatest type of love that a person can display because presence means that you are actually giving of your time, which is something that you can’t ever get back, and your undivided attention to a person that you care about.  How can a physical gift, that the person probably doesn’t need anyway, compare with this?  For me, I want to experience presence this Christmas season with my family through the giving our time together both on Christmas morning and through our acts of service during this holiday season and in our new house that we will be able to enjoy Christmas in this year. 

Presence is a difficult thing to attain because of the sheer busyness of the Christmas season; however as a family we are seeking to make spending time together a focus of ours this year.  Our desire is to have times and opportunities that we serve alongside each other, celebrate together, and experience the joy of family during this holiday season.  The only real barrier to experiencing the presence of each other this season would be our own decision not to celebrate this way.  As a family it takes an intentional effort not to fall into the trap of busyness and consumerism but rather to give of our presence to each other.

So as we build up to Christmas what do you desire to experience this Christmas season?  What is that one special thing that will not simply make this season tolerable but rather a celebration of our Savior’s birth?  What can you do as a family to focus on achieving this and making it a memorable experience for everyone?

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

          This past week our students concluded their series entitled, Doubt.  This series examines the fact that we can allow our questions about our faith to actually drive us closer to God rather than farther away.  Having doubts and questions are a normal part of faith formation and this series encourages our students to wrestle with those questions as they seek to make their faith their own.

At the conclusion of our evenings students gather in small groups to discuss the theme of the night in a personal manner that directly connects the theme/Scripture to their hearts.  This past week, one small group conversation took an interesting turn when I entered the room.  Upon walking in one of the teenage girls in the group asked me why we hadn’t answered her question, which we came to find out was “Why do bad things happen to good people?”  This is a question that many of us have wrestled with throughout our faith journey.  We left that night with a little resolution but there was still a healthy amount of tension surrounding this conversation.  Throughout this week, I have thought about the effect that this question has had on my own faith journey.  Last evening, it particularly rang true when I woke up around 2:00 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I found myself tossing and turning but when I couldn’t go back to sleep I turned to Facebook and Twitter to find some consolation.  I found myself reading about a dear friend of mine who is striving to “finish well” in his life as he battles brain cancer.

Stan Buck has always been an inspiration to me as a man of faith.  He has invested in countless lives through his ministry all the while being one of the most humble men that I have ever met.  Stan started a church in Fort Wayne, Indiana twenty-five years ago and is still the lead pastor there today.  He has taken this amazing church through several challenges times while seeking to be faithful to God’s leadership for this church.  Stan and I first really connected when I was taking a class towards my Master’s degree at Indiana Wesleyan University.  We realized that we were close to each other (about 20 minutes apart in separate churches) and developed a wonderful friendship that served as the start of our friendship.  Shortly after this class finished I found myself unemployed, doubting God, and searching for answers.  My wife and I ended up living with my in-laws and struggling to pay our bills each month.  I found myself becoming bitter, angry, and irritated at God during this time, however it turned out this is exactly where I needed to be.  A couple of weeks after moving in with my in-laws we decided to try this church across the street that we had heard good things about and attempt to turn our lives around.  We found ourselves walking into the church where Stan was the pastor and our lives were drastically altered.  Through their worship, friendship, and personal counseling I found my heart beginning to be softened instead of stirring the hurt that had lived in my heart for the past few months.  I found myself being consoled by a pastor, Stan, who didn’t simply talk about grace, love, and forgiveness but sought to embody them in his everyday life.  We found ourselves connecting with God and growing in our faith despite the hurt that we had suffered.  Stan demonstrated the love of Christ in the purest form as a humble servant who desired to give everything he had to serve God. 

Stan has become a wonderful friend throughout my ministry journey by encouraging, loving, and supporting us several times.  However, as he is ending his fight with cancer, I see a man who touched so many lives, exemplified the humble spirit of God, and did truly finish well in his life.  Stan you are a wonderful man of God who has forever altered my life and I am thankful for the privilege I had to call you my friend.  Please join with me in prayer for Stan, his wife Kathy, daughters Stephanie & Ashley (and their families), and Sonrise Church during this time as we celebrate Stan finishing well!

Looking at Our Struggles with New Eyes

          This past week our students concluded their series entitled, Doubt.  This series examines the fact that we can allow our questions about our faith to actually drive us closer to God rather than farther away.  Having doubts and questions are a normal part of faith formation and this series encourages our students to wrestle with those questions as they seek to make their faith their own.  Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion question reads as follows, “What are some things that God has taught you in the past about Himself? How can those things specifically help you with the doubts you now have?”

Throughout my journey of faith there have been several moments that I have discovered revelations about God through various situations and circumstances.  These revelations come not because of some great connection and insight that I have but rather from the words of a wise person who told me about the need to look for God in unexpected places in my life.  These words have caused me to examine various situations in my life in a new light, which in turn have revealed a great deal about God’s character to me.  I have been able to examine new situations with fresh eyes thinking about the lesson or piece of God’s character that could be hiding in the pain, anxiety, or discomfort. 

One primary situation that jumped out at me was when our son was born premature in the NICU.  I remember the shock of being told that something was wrong and he would have to be placed in the NICU for some tests.  The mood quickly changed from one of celebration to one of frustration and confusion when we were told that they didn’t know if he was going to make it.  I remember crying out to God in the waiting area, with my wife by my side, begging for our son to be spared.  I recall sitting by his crib multiple times each day, praying for a miracle to happen.  However, day after day we continued to see him declining and the nurses scrambling to find a solution to his respiratory problems.  Although it was only a month of our lives, the days seemed to last forever and the tears simply wouldn’t stop as we doubted God’s plan for this little boy.  We knew the pain of losing a child firsthand and couldn’t begin to fathom going through that again.  However, at about the midway point of that first month we began to see small improvements in our son and how he was responding to the treatments.  He began to gain strength and breath on his own, making his mom and dad breathe easier as well.  A couple of weeks after this turn, we found ourselves taking our son home and celebrating the wonderful blessing of his life.

As we reflect on the time in the hospital that we spent with our little boy there were several things that happened causing me to understand God’s character all the more.  The first was that just as we sat by our son’s bedside every day; God is with us all the time.  He is constantly surrounding us with His love and peace however the question is are we receptive to it.  Second, it seemed as though our prayers were being ignored and God simply wasn’t listening to us as we prayed for our son to be healed.  This was a reminder to rely on God’s timing, not our own, and trust that He hears the cries of our hearts.  Just as David cried out to God in the book of Psalms we found ourselves doing the same thing but needed to rely on what we knew about God rather than simply what we were feeling in our hearts.  The third revelation that happened were through the relationships that were established, with the nurses, doctors, and other parents.  There were several times that we had the opportunity to reach out to the nurses, especially when one of them lost a child a year after our son was in the hospital.  Our little boy provided the opportunity to reach into their hurt and attempt to shed some of God’s love on the situation.  There were also opportunities to extend God’s grace to the doctor’s even when it seemed as though they weren’t really doing anything to help our son.  There were chances when other parents would want to talk, laugh, and cry together simply to get through our situation.

Through the pain, tears, and discouragement that transpired that month, I found myself coming to a deeper understanding of who God is and how He desires to be a part of my life.  I found myself marveling at the depth of His love for me, amazed at the constant pursuit of my heart that He exhibited, and the care for the prayers that I lifted up to Him daily for our son.  In that month, God revealed a great deal of His character to me, helping me to overcome my doubts and draw closer to Him.

Using Doubt in a Positive Way

          This past week our students started a new series, Doubt.  This series examines the fact that we can allow our questions about our faith to actually drive us closer to God rather than farther away.  Having doubts and questions are a normal part of faith formation and this series encourages our students to wrestle with those questions as they seek to make their faith their own.  Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The first week’s discussion question reads as follows, “Do you ever have doubts about God?  If so, what are they?  What do you do with them-vocalize them or keep them to yourself?

Doubt is a powerful thing that can direct us down one or two different paths.  We can choose to allow the doubt in our faith, God, the church, etc. to deter us from following Jesus or we can allow it to direct us closer to God’s heart.  For me, doubt was something that I wrestled with for a long time in my own life.  I struggled with different pieces of Christianity, the Bible, the Church, and what I was supposed to believe.  However, for the longest time I always felt that I was not allowed to ask questions about God because that would demonstrate my lack of faith.  However, the summer before my freshman year of college my thought process was drastically altered. 

On the second day of taking summer classes for college, before my freshman year (only because of a scholarship not because I wanted to be an overachiever), I received a phone call that my dad had been diagnosed with cancer.  I remember the toll this took on my faith as here I was a Christian, at college, studying to enter the ministry, and struggling with doubts about God.  I found myself asking the following questions, “Does God really love me?”  “Why would God allow this to happen?”  “Why do bad things happen to good people (like my dad)?”  These were all questions that I found myself wrestling with and unfortunately I still don’t have all of the answers.  These questions started the moment I received the phone call, however I found them becoming far more pressing a few days when my dad had surgery to attempt to get the cancer out of his body.  I found myself, clinging to the promises that God would heal him and things would be alright, but when the doctor entered the room, I knew something was wrong.  The doctor informed us that they hadn’t been able to get everything and they would have to do another surgery later in the month to try to remedy the problem.  Despite the hope that was still present, I found myself doubting God all the more because he hadn’t healed my dad.  My doubts were consuming every thought and I found myself wanting to run away from my faith and ignore God completely. 

 

Then something interesting happened, through several of my new friends at college.  As I returned to campus I was met with their hugs, tears, and prayers for my dad.  I started having conversations with them about why would God allow this to happen to my dad and what ensued was a wonderful few months that forever altered my faith.  I found myself talking openly about my doubts to my new friends and listening to their doubts about God.  We found ourselves searching through the Scriptures (as a community of faith), praying together, and talking to wise counsel (our professors and administrators of the school) about our doubts.  We found ourselves consumed with making our faith our own rather than simply riding on the coattails of our parents or pastors back home.  We found ourselves falling more in love with God and seeing His love starting to transform our doubts into a pursuit for a deeper relationship with Jesus.  We saw our doubts directing us to a deeper love of God rather than deterring us from following Him.  Through these few months, I discovered that doubt could be a positive thing.  Doubt can direct us closer to God if we allow it to.  Doubt can encourage our hearts as we seek to grow closer to God in the midst of our questions. 

 

So as parents, do you encourage your children to have doubts about God, faith, the church, etc.?  Do you seek to discuss with them the personal relationship that Jesus desires for them to have with Him?  Do you challenge your children to ask questions about the difficult things in life, knowing that you may not have the answers?  My challenge to you is to encourage doubt and questions in the lives of your children.  Use their questions as a time to study God’s Word together and grow closer together, both as a family and as Christians.  

Helpful Questions

            Starting this Sunday our students will hear a new series that encourages them to do something that doesn’t always happen in a church setting.  This new series will encourage students to ask questions about their faith, in a safe manner that will help them shape it as their own.  This series is entitled Doubt and here is a brief series synopsis about series;

“Everyone has moments of doubt. We doubt if we are heading in the right direction when going someplace new. We doubt if that low-fat snack is really as healthy as it claims to be. We doubt if the people in our lives really care about us—even in spite of the evidence that they do. And sometimes our doubts are about God. Can we trust God? Does God really have our best in mind? What does a particular Bible verse actually mean?

When questions arise, they can be a little unsettling, especially questions about faith. But what if God was big enough to handle the questions? He is. What if God was secure enough to handle our uncertainty? He is. And what if doubt actually paved the way to a deeper belief, a stronger relationship with Christ? It can.”

As a teenager I remember feeling uncomfortable asking questions about my faith.  Each week I would go to church, sing the songs, listen to the sermons and go home thinking about how nice that was.  I recall never really wrestling with anything the pastor would preach on or thinking about it a great deal.  I found myself thumbing through my Bible and reading the words without making a real connection to my heart.  I found myself stuck in this rut for the majority of my life, but that wasn’t what God had in store for me.

At the age of sixteen things began to change in how I thought about the sermons I heard, the songs we sang, and the passages I was reading in my Bible.  I began to think through them more intently and realized that there were several things that simply didn’t seem to make sense to me.  I found myself asking my youth pastor and pastor about different things in the Bible almost weekly.  I began to get some sort of answers to my questions however, the questions continued as I learned more about Christianity and particularly what that means to me in college. 

I found myself at a private Christian college where my fellow students and professors were all wrestling with what it means to be a Christian.  What was this relationship that God invited us into really all about?  During these four years I found myself digging deeper into the questions of Christianity and finding some sense of resolution in my heart to these questions.  However, what I realized through this process were two things; first, I began to understand that asking questions is a good thing because it creates tension and not all tension is bad.  In fact the tension that was created from the questions caused us to dig through the Bible and various other books/resources to come to conclusion about our questions.  This leads directly into the second thing that I discovered through asking questions which is the fact that I found myself connecting with God in a more personal way than ever before.  The intent searching for answers allowed us to grow in our faith and really establish a personal relationship with God that was “ours” and not simply something that was passed on from the church or our parents.

Questions are not a negative thing; in fact it is how we learn.  I have discovered this with my two small children who ask the question, “Why?” to almost everything.  My challenge to you is to ask the tough questions about your faith, search for answers, and talk about your findings with your family.  This will not only bring you closer together as a family but it will also help to strengthen your own personal relationship with God.

Is Being a Christian Messy?

          I recently heard a wonderful story that I wanted to share with you today.  I recently had the opportunity to attend a one day training event and the primary speaker shared a story that resonated with my soul and should with everyone who is a parent, as well. 

Here is his story:

            “Every year at Christmas I find myself waiting until Christmas Eve to do my shopping for everyone.  There is something that is just therapeutic to me about waiting and shopping on the last possible day for those special gifts.  My tradition has always been to wake up early and travel to my favorite shopping mall to purchase those special gifts for my loved ones.  However, one particular Christmas Eve, my entire perspective was altered. 

          I woke up that day and traveled to the mall ready to embark on my journey however, I knew I needed to stop by the restroom to make sure I was ready for a full day of shopping.  After coming out of the restroom I noticed an elderly lady standing extremely close to the men’s restroom door almost seeking to see inside every time that the door was opened.  I went out of my comfort zone as an introvert and asked her if everything was alright.  Her reply was simply, ‘My husband went in there a while ago and hasn’t come out.”  I questioned her reasoning but I said ‘Alright, how long has he been in there?’  Her reply raised my level of concern instantly when she said ‘He’s been in there for 45 minutes.’  I told her to wait there and I would go to check on her husband, which was going to be another challenging moment for me.  I walked into the bathroom and found myself knocking on each stall door asking, ‘Frank, are you in there?’  Finally when I reached the last stall I heard a faint whisper before I asked the question.  The voice said, ‘Yes, I’m Frank and I’m in here.’  I asked if everything was alright and responded with a simple, ‘No.’  At this point my heart was beating so loudly I was sure everyone else in the bathroom could hear it but I mustered up the courage to ask the question, ‘What’s wrong?’  The faint voice replied, ‘I had an accident.’  My heart sank as I asked, ‘Do you want me to come in and help you?’ all the while praying that he would say no.  Frank quietly said, ‘Yes, please.’  I tried to compose myself and walked into the stall with Frank who sat there covered in his own mess from head to toe.  He told me that on his way to the stall he had an accident and then slipped and fell in the mess which left him in this embarrassed and fragile state. 
          I returned out to his wife and told her that she needed to go and buy him some new clothes and returned to the bathroom to help this 80 year old man.  I found myself walking back and forth from the sink to the stall with damp paper towels in hand seeking to help Frank get cleaned up.  After working with him for several minutes, gathering the new clothes from his wife, he was cleaned up and able to leave the bathroom.  I walked out with him and watched he and his wife leave the mall.  I found myself struggling with the entire encounter as I now found myself walking through the mall at a rapid pace arguing with God about this “distraction” in my planned day and then it happened.
          At one sudden moment it became so clear to me, why this had happened.  I felt like God was nudging my heart saying, ‘There is no way for you to do what you do without getting messy, just like there was no way for Jesus to do what He did without getting messy.’  At that moment my entire world stopped as I began to think about my family, the ministry I called to lead, and the various situations that I had found myself in through the years.  I realized that this central truth is central to everything that I do.”
 

As I personally listened to these words, I thought about several of the same things in my own life.  Often times I may find myself frustrated when my children don’t listen, when things go a different route than I expected in the ministry, or when something completely deters me from completing what I thought I knew.  However, these words should resonate with our hearts because we often times have a beautiful picture of what Jesus did on the cross for us.  We believe that it was peaceful and calm just like many of the pictures that we see and display in our homes.  However, the death of Jesus on the cross so we could each have eternal life in heaven was a messy thing.  It was a horrible thing and just like this speaker mentioned there are times in our lives where we find ourselves in the midst of a “mess.”  Perhaps you are in the midst of a mess right now with your marriage, children, a situation at work, or some other situation and if that is the case I want to offer you hope.  There is no way to truly succeed in your marriage, raising children, or clinging to your integrity at work without getting messy.  It’s a part of life that we all find ourselves trudging through, however have you ever thought about the mess that Jesus endured for you?  Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that just because you are in a mess doesn’t mean that you are doing it wrong but maybe that God can trust you with the mess? 

I offer you hope today in the form of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ despite the mess that you may find yourself in.  Cling to the mess that Jesus lived through on the cross for you, knowing that His mess gives you eternal life and trust in a God who is bigger than your situation.

Do Others See Jesus in You?

          This past week our students completed the series, The Invisibles.  This series examines the challenges that many of us have faced with feeling invisible at certain points of our lives, seeing others who may be invisible to us right now, and gaining an understanding that we have never been invisible to God.  Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The final week’s discussion question reads as follows, “Identify someone who is invisible in each of your worlds.  What does he or she need?  How can you help with that need?  How can you also point them to Christ?”

Throughout this series we have been challenging our students to examine the world they live in by looking at their families, schools, communities, and the whole world.  This past week we discussed how they could be “like Jesus” to both “the invisibles” around them and also to anyone that they served.  For our family this became extremely evident through an experience we shared with our Sunday School class in Georgia.  Our class was very intentional about seeking out opportunities to help others in need throughout the year.  One particular opportunity that came up was to travel to “Tent City” (a place of shelter for several homeless people in the area) and serve them dinner.  Mindy and I felt compelled not only to serve at this event but also to have our children participate with us.  Our children were only two and three at the time so we knew that they would not grasp the full meaning of what they were doing but that it would be a good starting point to introduce them to a life of serving others.  That evening we were able to help several people by providing them with a hot meal, conversation, and even some special kits with various items in them like toothpaste, hand sanitizer, and other items that they would need (which were specially prepared by our own children prior to the evening of serving).  This was simply one way of noticing people that were in our line of sight everyday but invisible to us prior to this evening.  After leaving that night our son began asking several questions about why those people didn’t have a house or food which led to some challenging conversation with him.  However, we believe as parents that starting our children early in serving others will hopefully help them have this attitude through the remainder of their lives. 

As parents, what opportunities are presenting your children with to serve others?  What opportunities are available for you to serve as a family?  I challenge you not only to think about the immediate community that you find yourself in but also the larger community that we are all a part of being the world. 

This week we were able to challenge our students to take on a different perspective as they prepared for our annual summer mission experiences.  We challenged them to think about the reason that they were serving (being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ) along with ways that they could show God’s love to other people in another part of the country.  The challenge was well received as our students began to think of ways they could impact other areas of our nation with the love of Christ in a more intentional manner.  One small group leader mentioned the great work that our students had done in this area during our trip to Steubenville, Ohio this past year.  He mentioned that one person whose house they worked on commented about the hope that she had now because of the heart of the students who helped her during the week.  This is a testament to the wonderful work of our students, adults, and church as we seek to share God’s love with other people.  I am thankful for an opportunity to be a part of this wonderful church that seeks to share God’s love with other people!

Again, my challenge to you is to seek out opportunities to serve others as a family both in your immediate community and the world.

Are They Just in the Background?

This past week our students continued in their series, The Invisibles.  This series examines the challenges that many of us have faced with feeling invisible at certain points of our lives, seeing others who may be invisible to us right now, and gaining an understanding that we have never been invisible to God.  Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion question reads as follows, “Who are some people that are consistently in the background scenery of your everyday life?”

Every day there are people who we walk past, bump into, or drive by in our cars who are invisible to us.  In my life I can think of several people who I have consistently put in the background of my life.  These were people who had a story to tell and life to share but for whatever reason I simply went past them without a second thought in my mind. 

However, there was one individual who stands out as the turning point for me noticing people that were in the background scenery of my life.  Before we moved to Ohio we were serving a church in Georgia and to get almost anywhere you had to take the interstate.  Every day we would get on and off the ramps to go to our house always seeing the same homeless man standing on the side of the road asking for money.  For several days we drove by ignoring him completely for whatever reason.  I recall using our children (who were two and three years old at the time), the face that we were running late, or several other reasons to drive by and ignore him.  However, one day our lives changed as my wife told me that she knew we needed to stop and help him.  We found ourselves going to the gas station buying him a sandwich and drink and getting a few dollars out of the ATM.  We drove back to him and dropped off the various items and started a discussion with him.  I remember that I didn’t catch his name or really anything about his story because I was so floored that he didn’t ask what kind of sandwich it was or what we got him to drink.  I found myself mulling over the idea that if I were in his position I would want to know the answers to those questions and then it happened.  I started wrestling with my own selfish feelings and realized that if I was in his situation I wouldn’t care what it was either but would rather be thankful for the gift of any passerby.  I realized that own my own selfish feelings were dictating the way that I was handling this situation and I have to admit that I felt more than a little embarrassed.  I realized that for several days we drove by this man simply because he was a part of the background scenery of our lives.  I have to admit that this act was initiated and carried out by my wife, but it caused me to start looking beyond my own little world.

A second occurrence of noticing those in the background scenery of our lives happened a few years ago when we were listening to a friend of ours deliver a sermon series from The Advent Conspiracy.  After hearing his words, we found ourselves revaluating our approach to Christmas.  We realized that there were several other people around the world who were so much worse off than we were and God grabbed our hearts to look for more ways to be involved in missions.  This wasn’t a guilt-trip series but rather a way for us to look at the impact that our small family could make in so-much-larger world.  This year during our advent season our students will be diving into this study with the opportunity to make an impact on the world.  You can find more information about this series by watching the video below.

So who are the people in the background scenery of your life?  Who are the people that you walk or drive by daily that simply need you to reach out?  As Christians, we should be the best at reaching out to others with the love of Christ, but we often times fall flat or falter with this.  What steps can you take today to start to remedy this situation in your own life?  Maybe it is simply giving a little money to someone in need or partnering with a charity/organization around the world to impact the life of someone else.