Why Should Children Honor Their Parents?

  Over the past couple of weeks our student ministry has been journeying through the maze of how students relate to their parents.  Through this series we have been blessed with wonderful conversations and great questions.  One of the most thought provoking questions came this past week from one of our middle school students.  The question that was raised was, “Why do I as a “child” have to be the mature and responsible one to honor my parents and fight for the relationship when they should be doing this because they are older and the parents?”

As we worked through this question, we explored several reasons that children should honor their parents.
• We (children) focus so much on what our parents are doing that we miss our own role
• You are not responsible for what your parents do, but you ARE responsible for what you do
• Our choice is simple when it comes to how to respond to our parents: Choose to disobey and run away because of how our parents act OR honor them in spite of their decisions.
• When you turn your hearts towards your parents, it turns your relationship towards God
• What if at some point in your next conflict, you stopped, and you did something to communicate, “You are important.  In fact you’re more important than this thing we’re arguing about.”

We finished up the discussion by looking at the fact that all fights in our family come down to one thing, “We aren't getting our way” or more simply perspective.  We find ourselves engaged in arguments with our family members because we see, hear, and feel things differently.  The same message can be conveyed but the way that we hear it, understand it, or experience can be entirely different, leading us into conflict with other family members.  As you think about this question and these themes what issues come to your mind for reasons that children should honor their parents and how we as parents can convey a message of love and respect to our children?

Today, I would like to leave you with a question to consider about your relationship with your parents and to discuss with your children.  “What do typically do when you don’t get your way?”   As you wrestle with this question I challenge you to think about what the concepts of respect, freedom, and honor mean in your house.  As you work through this issue remember that while you may have a shaky relationship with your parents or children currently, you can change that because “When you turn your heart toward your parents, it turns your relationship toward God.”