Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Learning Honor through a Broken Curfew and a Speeding Ticket

          I can remember the rush of freedom that I experienced when I held that new card in my hand and imagined all of the adventures that I could take with it.  I remember thinking that I had finally reached a point of independence and nothing would hold me back.  I was only sixteen but the freedom that came from holding my freshly created driver’s license was overwhelming.  In that moment I suddenly realized that I could be free to come and go as I pleased, or at least I thought.  However, one of the biggest blessings of having my driver’s license was that I could see my girlfriend, who lived 15-20 minutes away, at my convenience.  I remember traveling to her house the first evening after getting my license and feeling like nothing could stop me from doing whatever I wanted.  However, after I underestimated the time it took to get back home from her house the first night and missed my curfew.  The same thing happened the next night and the next night for an entire week.  Needless to say, by the time the end of the week hit I wasn’t feeling invincible but rather walking the fine line between trying to spend as much time with my girlfriend as possible yet not break my curfew again.  As I left my house one week after getting my license my parents told me that if I was late again I would lose my license and car for a period of time.  So much for independence and freedom, as I now found myself bordering losing it all.  That evening I kept a careful eye on the clock and when the time came to leave I left, alright in all honesty I left a few minutes late again.  I began the furious drive home to make in time to meet my curfew and then it happened.  I suddenly looked in my rearview mirror to see red and blue lights flashing and knew I was in more trouble than simply losing my license and car for a few days.  I received my first ticket, which was for a considerable amount of money since I was driving at reckless driving speeds on a country road.  As I pulled into the driveway of my house that evening, I held my breath as I knew that I was in for it.  When I walked in the door I quickly explained everything to my parents, showed them the ticket, and promised that I would pay for it with the money I had saved from my job of waiting tables.  I was genuinely sorry and they saw that in my face and heard it in my words, which led them to simply say, “Go to your room and get some sleep.”  I thought my parents were crazy for this reaction but years later I realized that they knew that I had learned my lesson the hard way and they didn’t need to punish me anymore. 

            I was reminded of this situation again this past week as I read a couple of verses from Ephesians 6, specifically verses one to three.  This passage states, “Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord, because this is right.  Honor your father and mother, which the first commandant with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land” (HCSB).  As I read these verses I remembered the fact that by confessing my mistake of being late (not to mention the speeding ticket) and working to find a solution to this problem that I was honoring my parents.  While I didn’t always do a great job with this I did in this case, which showed my parents that I was trying to honor them and allowed me to embrace the benefits that Paul outlines in Ephesians 6:3 stating, “so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.”  I still had to reap the consequences but only those that were self-imposed because I was willing to honor my parents.  I realized in that moment that rather than reacting to my parents I needed to accept responsibility for my own actions because I’m not responsible for what our parents do, but I am responsible for what I do.”  This same truth is still applicable years later as I can’t change or escape my parents but I can seek to find ways to honor them because I am responsible for what I do.

            Today, I would like to leave you with a question to consider about your relationship with your parents and to discuss with your children.  “Do you think respecting your parents will lead to more freedom?  Why or why not?   As you wrestle with this question I challenge you to think about what the concepts of respect, freedom, and honor mean in your house.  As you work through this issue remember that while you may have a shaky relationship with your parents or children currently, you can change that because “You are not responsible for what your parents do, but you are responsible for what you do.”

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