I can remember the rush of freedom that I experienced when I held that new card
in my hand and imagined all of the adventures that I could take with it. I remember thinking that I had finally reached
a point of independence and nothing would hold me back. I was only sixteen but the freedom that came
from holding my freshly created driver’s license was overwhelming. In that moment I suddenly realized that I
could be free to come and go as I pleased, or at least I thought. However, one of the biggest blessings of
having my driver’s license was that I could see my girlfriend, who lived 15-20
minutes away, at my convenience. I
remember traveling to her house the first evening after getting my license and
feeling like nothing could stop me from doing whatever I wanted. However, after I underestimated the time it
took to get back home from her house the first night and missed my curfew. The same thing happened the next night and
the next night for an entire week.
Needless to say, by the time the end of the week hit I wasn’t feeling
invincible but rather walking the fine line between trying to spend as much
time with my girlfriend as possible yet not break my curfew again. As I left my house one week after getting my
license my parents told me that if I was late again I would lose my license and
car for a period of time. So much for
independence and freedom, as I now found myself bordering losing it all. That evening I kept a careful eye on the
clock and when the time came to leave I left, alright in all honesty I left a
few minutes late again. I began the
furious drive home to make in time to meet my curfew and then it happened. I suddenly looked in my rearview mirror to
see red and blue lights flashing and knew I was in more trouble than simply
losing my license and car for a few days.
I received my first ticket, which was for a considerable amount of money
since I was driving at reckless driving speeds on a country road. As I pulled into the driveway of my house
that evening, I held my breath as I knew that I was in for it. When I walked in the door I quickly explained
everything to my parents, showed them the ticket, and promised that I would pay
for it with the money I had saved from my job of waiting tables. I was genuinely sorry and they saw that in my
face and heard it in my words, which led them to simply say, “Go to your room
and get some sleep.” I thought my
parents were crazy for this reaction but years later I realized that they knew
that I had learned my lesson the hard way and they didn’t need to punish me
anymore.
I was reminded of this situation
again this past week as I read a couple of verses from Ephesians 6, specifically
verses one to three. This passage
states, “Children, obey your parents as
you would the Lord, because this is right.
Honor your father and mother, which the first commandant with a promise,
so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land”
(HCSB). As I read these verses I
remembered the fact that by confessing my mistake of being late (not to mention
the speeding ticket) and working to find a solution to this problem that I was
honoring my parents. While I didn’t
always do a great job with this I did in this case, which showed my parents
that I was trying to honor them and allowed me to embrace the benefits that
Paul outlines in Ephesians 6:3 stating, “so
that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.” I still had to reap the consequences but only
those that were self-imposed because I was willing to honor my parents. I realized in that moment that rather than
reacting to my parents I needed to accept responsibility for my own actions
because I’m not responsible for what our parents do, but I am responsible for
what I do.” This same truth is still
applicable years later as I can’t change or escape my parents but I can seek to
find ways to honor them because I am responsible for what I do.
Today, I would like to leave you
with a question to consider about your relationship with your parents and to
discuss with your children. “Do you
think respecting your parents will lead to more freedom? Why or why not? As you wrestle with this question I challenge
you to think about what the concepts of respect, freedom, and honor mean in
your house. As you work through this
issue remember that while you may have a shaky relationship with your parents
or children currently, you can change that because “You are not responsible for
what your parents do, but you are responsible for what you do.”
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