Lost in Love?

          This past week our students started a new series entitled Lovesick focusing on the relationships in our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “There's something pretty amazing about being in love, isn't there? The butterflies in your stomach. The dreamy gazes. No wonder so many of us are so in love with being in love. But if you look around--in the media, at school, in life--we've taken what God created and twisted it, morphed it and configured it into something it was never meant to be--an obsession. When romantic relationships become an obsession, balance goes out the window. We miss out on opportunities and experiences we might otherwise have had. And sometimes we even forget who we are. There's got to be healthier way to do this. There's got to be another way than being so lovesick.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The first week’s discussion questions read as follows, Parents, share a time when you were more in love with being in love than you were with the person you were with.

This series is an interesting one for me as I am looking back at some decisions that I made in middle school, high school, and college in regards to my relationships.  There was always something inside of me, even from an early age that made me think that I would be “better off” or “more complete” if I was “in love.”  I found myself trying to impress the most beautiful girls in school through a variety of means with the hope that they would be attracted to me and that I would be complete once this happened.  However, more times than I would like to admit, I found myself feeling more alone, disappointed, and defeated when I looked for love. 

One occurrence of this that I shared with our students this past week happened at my senior prom.  I had asked a friend of mine to see if her younger sister would be interested in going with me.  Shortly after I made the request I received the wonderful news that she would be thrilled to go with me.  I was so excited as I had a beautiful date, who attended another school and I could impress everyone with her.  The truth is, that I really just wanted to impress her but I couldn’t admit that to her because of my fear of rejection!  I remember picking her up that night spending an amazing evening at both prom and after prom and then returning to her house where we watched a movie and decided to make breakfast for her whole family with her sister and her friends who were there.  It seemed like an amazing night to “make my move” and ask her out so I gave it a shot.  I found myself uttering the words, “I had a really great time tonight and I wanted to see if you wanted to go on a date next weekend” as we put the finishing touches on breakfast.  She politely looked back at me and said “Thanks, I had a really good time to, but I already have a boyfriend.”  I was so taken back that I didn’t know what to say!  I mean we had just shared an amazing night full of love, dancing, and moments (at least I thought we had) only to find out that she already had a boyfriend.  My confusion quickly turned to anger as I found myself driving back home with a broken heart and several confusion emotions.  The truth of this exchange demonstrated that I was “in love” with her, while she was clearly not “in love” with me.  Basically my immature thinking, combined with culture’s overpowering relational messages, affected me to the point that I felt like I had to have a girlfriend.  I was obsessed with a girl I barely knew and who was clearly not interested in me!

While it is a little painful to recall this scenario from my past, it helped me to understand how easy it is to find ourselves tangled up in the confusing state of relationships or love.  So many times in our lives we distort the definition of “love” because we believe that we will be made complete once we are in a relationship or find true love.  However, the truth remains that regardless of how many earthly relationships that we seek out, create, or maintain the only real relationship that will mold our hearts fully and completely in our personal relationship with Jesus.  So with that thought in mind, what relationship are you focusing on?  Is that relationship drawing your closer or further away from God?  As you take a few moments to examine your own heart, my prayer is that your relationship with God will begin to flourish this Lenten season.