Is a Redo Always the Best Thing?

         This past week our students continued in their series entitled Lovesick focusing on the relationships in our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “There's something pretty amazing about being in love, isn't there? The butterflies in your stomach. The dreamy gazes. No wonder so many of us are so in love with being in love. But if you look around--in the media, at school, in life--we've taken what God created and twisted it, morphed it and configured it into something it was never meant to be--an obsession. When romantic relationships become an obsession, balance goes out the window. We miss out on opportunities and experiences we might otherwise have had. And sometimes we even forget who we are. There's got to be healthier way to do this. There's got to be another way than being so lovesick.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows, Parents, if you could go back and re-do or undo relationships you had in high school, how would your high school experience have looked differently? What are some things you would have gotten involved in, what would you have pursued or tried?

Early on in life I learned the phrase, “Hindsight is always 20/20.”  As I have moved through my life, I have indeed found this to be true especially in the area of relationships.  As a teenager I found myself moving through my life thinking about the relationships that I had for the moment rather than looking for long-term relationships that would enrich my life for years to come.  This was especially true when it came to my dating relationships starting at the age of sixteen.  My parents were old fashioned and told me that I was not allowed to date until that age, which while it was a struggle, initially, was also beneficial in the long run.  I found myself dating a young lady shortly after my sixteenth birthday and we dated for a few months.  However, after the initial “thrill” wore off I broke up with her (around Valentine’s Day nonetheless) and began a cycle of looking for other relationships.  I found myself seeking out girls from other schools to date hoping to find that initial “thrill” that would hopefully last for a longer time.  However, as time progressed the “thrill” never came back but what did was a cycle of broken hearts (both mine and others) and destruction.  During my college years this cycle continued until I met the woman that would become my wife.  The “thrill” of being in love returned and has grown over the past seven years that I have been married. 

However, I often times wondered what my life would have been like if I would have worked on the dating relationship I was in instead of jumping from one relationship to another?  As I have wrestled with this thought, I have wondered about the number of people that I have hurt or that I have allowed to hurt me through this various relationships.  Would my life have been more full or complete if I had taken a different approach to these relationships?  Would my friendships have been stronger and more lasting?  Has this affected other areas of my life beyond just relationships?

These are all questions that I have thought about several times as I look back on my high school and college career.  Do I believe that my high school/college experience would have been different if I had taken a different approach to relationships?  It is possible but as I think back through the various experiences that I had, I do believe that God used each of those experiences, both good and bad, to shape me into the man that I am today.  Without those experiences would my life be different, absolutely but who knows if that would be better or worse.  I do believe in the words that were penned in Romans 8:28 that state, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  God has indeed worked the various experiences, relationships, and situations of my life together for good even though they may have been a struggle or difficult when I went through them. 

So while my life may have looked different then and now, I don’t feel as though I would want to change anything about my past relationships because they have molded me and shaped me into the man I am today.  As you look back at your life what relationships would like to have a redo on or undo completely?  Have those relationships affected you for the better or worse in your life today?  I challenge you to look for potential “good” that has come from these relationships and see how God has worked everything together for His good.