How Did I Get Here?

          This week our students we continued in their series write.rewrite focusing on the stories of our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We are all drawn to great stories - whether that's on the big screen, small screen, in a book or elsewhere. But we may be completely unaware of one simple truth - that our lives are a story as well. The decisions we make every day are shaping the plot. The things we do, believe and trust determine what is being written. And for many of us, the story we are scripting could be so much more if we let God write, or even rewrite, our story. It’s the story we long for, the one our hearts truly desire.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows (for the parent to answer), “Have you ever found yourself in a place in your life where you wondered, ‘How did I get here?’  If you retraced your steps, what were the decisions you made that led you there?  Each one of you take a decision in your life (whether good or bad) and track the steps that led you to the end result.”

            Directions are something that I have thankfully always had a knack for.  This is not because I am man, who believes you should never ask for directions, it’s just something that comes easily to me.  If I drive somewhere one time I am usually able to get back there again without the assistance of a GPS, my phone, or a map.  I can’t explain why this is the case for me, but it works wonderfully when I’m trying to get to and from places easily.  I first became aware of this when I decided at the last minute one year to drive to our family reunion.  I was working at a summer camp and wanted it to be a surprise to my family that I was coming, so I had to figure out a way to get to where I was going.  I went to the local gas station to buy a map, quickly scouted it out, and started driving.  A few hours later I was there and to this day I am easily able to get back to that town from almost anywhere.  This ability to understand directions and travel easily has been something that I love and it has helped me out several times throughout my life.  However, as someone who has directions come easily to him, the same can also be said for when our lives don’t go as planned and there is a hiccup in the process.

            As I look back on my life the most noticeable occurrence of having my life track shifted came when I was preparing to ask my wife to marry me.   We had been dating for a while and knew from the first date that we were going to get married.  With that in mind, I perfected a wonderful proposal, picked out the perfect ring, and prepared myself for that challenging conversation with her dad.  The last piece of this puzzle was where the hiccup hit; I had arranged to sit down with my father-in-law at Bob Evans for breakfast one morning.  I had the entire discussion laid out in my mind, with a joyful acceptance coming from him and a welcome to the family.  However, as we started down that road in the discussion I was suddenly stopped in my tracks.  As I asked for my wife’s hand in marriage, her father replied with a direct, “No and here is why.”  He then pulled a list out of his pocket as to why he wouldn’t approve of me marrying his daughter.  As you can imagine I was crushed and ended up leaving the restaurant in tears.  I called Mindy telling her everything and then it hit us both.  We had stopped communicating with her parents about our relationship.  She was still living at home with them and we had completely isolated ourselves from them.  We stopped telling them about the progression of the relationships, how we had worked through things that were once an issue, and how much we were committed to making this work.  After that realization, we sat down with her parents and walked through the issues that we had worked through together and then her parents seemed more at ease with me marrying their little girl. Seven years later, we have a wonderful relationship with her parents, but it still amazes me how quickly we veered off course.  It wasn’t until we stepped back that we realized where the break was and the problems that it caused.  By retracing our steps we were able to determine the best remedy to the problem and work towards a solution.

            Have you ever had a time where you stepped back and looked at the situation and asked, “How did I get here?”  Did you take the time to retrace your steps and see if there was an answer to this question, along with a possible solution?  My challenge to you this week is to look back through the decisions that you have made where you have asked the question, “How did I get here?” and seek to find some lessons that you could learn through wrong turns and directions that were not followed.  As your do so communicate this to loved one or close friend in order to have accountability for the future and work towards staying on the right path.

Are You Connected to the Bigger Story?

          This past week our students we started a new series write.rewrite focusing on the stories of our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We are all drawn to great stories - whether that's on the big screen, small screen, in a book or elsewhere. But we may be completely unaware of one simple truth - that our lives are a story as well. The decisions we make every day are shaping the plot. The things we do, believe and trust determine what is being written. And for many of us, the story we are scripting could be so much more if we let God write, or even rewrite, our story. It’s the story we long for, the one our hearts truly desire.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The first week’s discussion questions read as follows, “What are some of your favorite stories (in movies, books, etc.)?  What specifically about those stories do you love?  Read Ecclesiastes 3:11.  Do you ever wish your life was “more” than what it is now?  If yes, why?”

My name is Matt and I have a problem.  I love movies of all kinds and have a tendency to buy new ones almost every Tuesday when new releases come out, even if I haven’t seen them yet.”  This was the statement that I had to make shortly after I got married to my wonderful wife.  I have always loved getting a new movie, cracking open the plastic, putting in the DVD player and getting lost in another story for a couple of hours.  Some would classify this as an addiction but for me it was a way of life all through my college years.  However, once my wife entered the picture, I quickly found the need to spend my money more wisely and not accumulate so much debt (and stuff from the movie cases themselves).  But isn’t there just something wonderful about connecting with the character(s) of a movie or book in a way that removes the daily problems and struggles of our lives?  I found this to be true in my own life, especially when I watched movies that told a great story about a hero who always wins of course! 

As a little boy I remember growing up loving the stories that many little boys do about being a hero.  I found myself wanting to dress up like them, defeat the villains, and rescue the damsel in distress almost daily.  As I grew up those same desires were still present in my heart, even though I had to change my wardrobe a little.  (I know that I’m in youth ministry but what would the church think if I showed up one day dressed as a super-hero?)  But despite being an adult for several years now I find myself still drawn to those types of stories.  Why?  I think author John Eldredge described it best in his book, Wild at Heart, when he states “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.  That is how he bears the image of God; that is what God made him to be.”  I know this is true in my own life that when I approach or see something that could potentially harm my family or my own well-being, my blood starts pumping faster and I get excited.  I long to be connected to some grand story of adventure and discovery where my beautiful wife is the grand prize in need of rescuing.  These items connect with my heart deeply and resonate within my soul.  Perhaps this is why I found myself seeking to “lose” myself in movies rather than living my life in a manner that embraces these elements.  Throughout our seven years of marriage there has been numerous times where I have found myself lost in a larger story, fighting battles, living on the cusp of adventure, and rescuing the beauty of my life.  These components of the story connect to my heart and make me feel alive!

Now let’s transition to the Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:11 states, “He has made everything appropriate in its time.  He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end.”

God created everything perfect in its time and set eternity in our hearts.  I don’t know about you but thinking about eternity is one of those things that used to strike a little bit of fear in me because I struggled with the thought of thinking about something that was larger than me or my own understanding.  However, as I have spent time reflecting on my life I realized that everything is connected and in fact I am a small part in God’s larger story that is unfolding around me daily.  This connection often provides an adventure that rarely unfolds as I plan, a love story between God and His creation (me), and a daily battle of my choices seeking to affirm my relationship with God or running from Him.  As I reached this moment of reflection I found myself realizing that my life was “more” than I had ever dreamed and will continue to be for the remainder of my life so long as I let God lead. 

So what about you, what stories connect with your soul and ignite your passions?  Do you feel as though your life could/should be “more?”  Do you see how you connect to God’s larger story in your life?  My challenge to you this week is to look at what elements of stories connect to your heart and seek to live those out in your personal relationship with God.

Looking Back to Move Forward

          It has been amazing to me over the past few days to see the number of people who are sharing their New Year’s resolution on Facebook.  These people are eagerly looking forward to the New Year of 2013 believing that it will hold a great deal of joy, encouragement, and blessings for both them and their families.  This morning I read a study about the fact that only 45% of Americans set New Year’s resolutions of that percentage only about 12% actually follow through with them during the next twelve months.  Now, I don’t share all of this to discourage you or even make you feel like you cannot live up to your resolution but to encourage you to think about the entire process in a different light.

            A few years ago a wise man spoke some truth into my life about this very thought of setting, keeping, and evaluating our resolutions every year.  He told me that one of the easiest ways that he had found to move forward with a resolution (or several) is to look back on what God has done in your life over the past year.  He made it a habit to journal consistently about the various ways that he had seen God working in and through the situations of his daily life throughout the year.  He took the opportunity of New Year’s Day to read back through and reflect upon the work of God in His life.  As I started thinking about this in my life over the past year there are several amazing things that God has done in my life over the past twelve months, which have lead me to think about the way I live my life in the coming year.  However, for the sake of this blog entry I will choose two life-altering decisions that will affect how I move my life forward in the coming months.

            The first of these workings of God centers on my accepting of a new ministry position.  Last January both my wife and I started feeling like God was calling us to a new ministry position somewhere closer to our families.  We found ourselves looking all over for a new position in ministry as we felt our time in the south was drawing to a close.  In May we journeyed to North Canton, Ohio to interview at Faith UMC.  While I felt as though the interview was confirmation for us to move and Mindy felt as though her time in town was confirmation we had to wait on the phone call from the search committee which came a few days later.  I held my breath as I listened to the words of the head of the Staff Parish committee offered me the job.  Unfortunately our house had horrible cell phone reception so I had to ask him to repeat the offer to make sure that I heard him right.  A couple of weeks later we found ourselves moving back to the Midwest, starting over in a new church, and feeling blessed that God provided this transition for us.

Through this experience, I was reminded of the blessing of “fresh starts” that come in our lives.  I was reminded of the “fresh start” that God gave me at the age of fourteen at a lock-in when I accepted Him into my heart for the first time.  I was reminded of the “fresh start” that He extended to me when I accepted my call to ministry almost two years later, changing my career path drastically.  I was reminded of the “fresh start” that we have because of God’s forgiveness, grace, and love in my life.  Overall this experience reminded me of the depth of God’s love for me personally and His provision for my life. 

Fast forward to the end of the 2012, where our family felt the need to purchase a home that would be our own.  This was something that we wanted to do for our children to provide stability in their lives and allow us to establish some “roots” in our local community.  We were excited when the first offer we made was accepted and it looked as though everything would work out perfectly for us to be in our own home for Christmas.  However, as we inched toward our closing date, several “hiccups” started occurring in the process.  We felt ourselves growing in frustration and questioning the timing of the numerous “barriers” that were popping up everywhere.  We finally withdrew our offer from this house and walked away uncertain of where we would live for the next few months.  However, again God provided something amazing for family.  We were blessed to be able to get into an apartment, with a short term lease, the day we came back to town from celebrating Christmas with our families.  We also found out that another house, which happened to be my wife’s favorite home that we saw was still on the market and available.  We submitted an offer and are in the process of negotiating the price with the owners as I write this. 

            This process of purchasing a home has probably given me more gray hairs than my children because of the stress, uncertainty, and drastic turns that have taken place through it all.  However, I am reminded of my wife’s words, “God has always taken care of us through everything, why would He let us down now?”  These words have echoed deep in my soul throughout the recent weeks, as God has provided in an amazing way for our family.  He has provided the funds in our bank account.  He has provided a bed for us to sleep in every night with a roof over our heads.  He has provided a house, that we believe is the house we are supposed to be in (not to mention several of the updates that we wanted are already accomplished) in His timing.  While we may not have an understanding as to why this situation unfolded the way it did, one thing remains true; God is faithful to us, so shouldn’t we be faithful to Him as well.

            Looking back reminds us of where we have been, so that we can live through the present, and soar into the future!  I am thankful for these words that were offered up to me a few years ago and I challenge you to look at what God has done in your life over the past twelve months and where He wants to take you in the next tweleve.

A Different Kind of Christmas Experience

           Christmas is always one of those magical times that every family looks to embrace in their own special way.  For our family, we always said that once we had children we would celebrate Christmas in our own house on Christmas morning and plan to be with our families at different times throughout the holiday season.  We felt that there was a great deal of joy that could be experienced as our children heard the Christmas story, opened their presents, and shared a special breakfast together in the comfort of our own home.  This year however was just a little, alright really a lot different.

            To set the stage a little bit we have working through the Adam Hamilton study The Journey as a church this Advent season.  As we have traveled this road together I learned some interesting new insights about the journey that Mary & Joseph took to the place where Jesus was born.  I was able to reflect upon the Christmas story this season with a true understanding of what it must have felt like for them because we to have been on a journey, where there has been no room in the inn for us.  On December 20^th, we were released from our rental house, with joyful hearts as it had been a difficult place to live for the past six months.  We were planning on closing on a new house and starting the next chapter of our lives, however there were some unexpected “speed bumps” that jolted our path drastically.  As we were loading the U Haul full of our earthly possessions we received a phone call that we would not be closing on our new house and may in fact have to wait even longer to be in our new house.  As the day rolled on we found out more troubling information about this house that we had thought would be a new start for us, which made us question our decision even more.  As time rolled on we found ourselves embracing the story of Joseph and Mary as we found ourselves without a home.  We were blessed with wonderful people from our church that opened their homes for us to hang out, store our belongings, and try to figure out the situation that was unfolding with our lives.  We found ourselves, homeless for Christmas, which was a struggle that had not nor could we foresee before it happened.

            Thankfully we are blessed with amazing family who welcomed us into their homes for this past week and friends who have extended grace towards our family in amazing ways.  It has truly been a humbling experience this Christmas season for our family.  The day after Christmas we ran into more issues with our “new” house and decided to walk away from the sale entirely.  This was a painful decision but one that we felt would best benefit our family.  After we walked away from the sale, the seller came back and tried to lure us back to their property, however, we knew deep down that we had made the right decision.  With all of this unfolding, we have started the process of purchasing another house, waiting for the underwriting process to start, and redoing inspections, appraisals, and loan conditions.  While this is not an enjoyable process, we believe that this is what God desires for our family during this season.  We have had several loving families from our church offer to “house” us for a week at a time and feel truly blessed to be surrounded by such a loving body of Christ.  I firmly believe that these people do not simply feel obligated to help us because I am on staff, have two small children, or simply because we need a place to go but because they genuinely love Jesus and want to share His love openly and freely.  It is amazing to see the body of Christ at work in such a mighty and powerful way.

            As we move forward in the coming weeks and towards the purchase of a new house, I would ask that you please keep our family in your prayers as we discern God’s plan for our house.  Please pray for our children, as we attempt to give them some sort of stability during this time of transition.  Pray for our church family as they freely and openly extend grace to our family, that their lives will be richly blessed for their generosity. 

            Despite our circumstances, we are truly blessed to have amazing people in our lives, to be serving at an amazing church, and most importantly to have a loving God that is guiding our path, even when things seem so uncertain.  Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers during this time in our lives as they mean more than words can express!

What Does “Loving All” Really Mean?

          This past week our students concluded their series in conjunction with the season of Advent entitled, Advent Conspiracy.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We all want our Christmas to be a lot of things. Full of joy. Memories. Happiness. Above all, we want it to be about Jesus. What we don't want is stress. Or debt. Or feeling like we "missed the moment". Advent Conspiracy is a movement designed to help us all slow down and experience a Christmas worth remembering. But doing this means doing things a little differently. A little creatively.  It means turning Christmas upside down.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows, “Is there something your family or friends could do together to love those who might be considered ‘the least of these?’” 

                Loving all is a theme that is often talked about, preached on, and wrestled with in Christian circles.  Despite the time we spend talking and hearing about it, I wonder how often we actually follow through with loving everyone.  How often do we look past race, economic differences, and religious backgrounds to truly love someone who is different than us?  How often do we love those people that society deems invisible or detestable, outside of the Christmas season?  How often do we really seek to love others in the manner that Jesus instructed us to in Matthew 25:35-36?  Do we really embrace the idea of “loving all” or is it just something that we like talk about?

            For me personally, this concept of “love all” began to take shape a few years ago when I was attending a youth workers convention in the fall.  We were in Nashville, Tennessee for the convention and it was a wonderful time.  We were blessed to worship with thousands of other youth workers from around the world, hear inspiring messages, learn about how to more effectively reach teenagers, and acquire several “loads” of free stuff from the various ministries in the exhibit hall.  Each night we would go back to our hotel rooms and shift through the various “treasures” that we had acquired.  This was a wonderful feeling that came once every year and we loved it, however this particular year something different happened that changed our thinking about loving other people as Jesus did.

            Each evening as we would leave our sessions we would find ourselves walking through the cold to get back to our hotels, however many of us completely ignored the homeless men/women that were laying on the heating grates, asking for money, or simply wanting to talk.  Many times we would rush off to our hotels completely oblivious to the immediate needs of the people that we walked by, over, or around every night.  One particular evening one of the individuals that I was with, stopped us and asked us to look at a homeless person trying to sleep on a hard metal heating grate for the evening.  They asked us to look through our bags and see if there was anything that we could do to help this person.  We began to dig through our bags, ashamed that for several nights we had walked right by this person (or others like them) without even a second glance.  We found ourselves wrestling with the fact that so many of us had been worshipping and hearing about God’s love but failing to share it.  That night something changed deep in my soul, causing me to look differently at how I love everyone.  I realized that it was not a choice of whether I wanted to or not but something that God called me to do as a Christian.  God doesn’t call us to act when it’s convenient, often times it’s not.  He doesn’t tell us to love others only if we feel like it.  He didn’t back out when He died on a cross for me (and you) so I can’t back out on Him.  Sure, loving everyone the way God loves us may cause us to be uncomfortable or challenged but isn’t that what the life of follower of Christ should embrace?

            So my challenge to you this week is to think of ways that your family or friends can seek to love others as God loves you.  This may put you in an uncomfortable or challenging situation where your stomach knots up but think about the love that Jesus gave us with His death on the cross.  Shouldn’t we be willing to do the same for others because of His love for us?

How Do You Celebrate?

          This past week our students started a continued in their series in conjunction with the season of Advent entitled, Advent Conspiracy.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We all want our Christmas to be a lot of things. Full of joy. Memories. Happiness. Above all, we want it to be about Jesus. What we don't want is stress. Or debt. Or feeling like we "missed the moment". Advent Conspiracy is a movement designed to help us all slow down and experience a Christmas worth remembering. But doing this means doing things a little differently. A little creatively.  It means turning Christmas upside down.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows, “Most of us have struggled at one point with how best to celebrate Christmas.  For some Christians, things have gotten so out of hand that they no longer give gifts to anyone.  What are some of the ways that you have chosen to celebrate Christmas? 

                Celebrating Christmas is something that I have always had an internal struggle with.  Selfishly, I have enjoyed getting presents from a variety of people in my life.  There has always been something about the feeling of opening a present, the surprise of what it could be, and the joy of knowing that it is mine for as long as I want it.  Sounds a little sad, doesn’t it, but I think that if many of us were honest this is where we find ourselves every Christmas.  Personally, I think that this type of mentality is shaped by the consumerism of our culture which leads us to believe that if we have the latest/greatest thing we will be “happy.”  However, as we find this is often not the case and our desire to be left “happy” only leaves us feeling “empty.”

            However, over the past few years, my understanding of Christmas has changed drastically.  While I still enjoy getting presents, there has been a great deal of joy in giving presents through the lives of my children.  I enjoy seeing them, and my wife, light up on Christmas morning because of a special present that they have received and the joy that fills my heart is unexplainable.  There have also been times that we have been able to bless others through our generosity, which has helped change the way that we, as a family, celebrate Christmas.  The old saying, “giving is better than receiving” is starting to ring more true in my life each year. 

            One occurrence of this has become apparent through the life of my wife’s grandmother.  Nanny has always been someone who sought to bring joy to the lives of others through her generosity and loving spirit.  She would bless our family each year with special ornaments that included a handwritten blessing on them for something that she would pray for during the upcoming year.  This along with her personal stewardship of the gifts that God has blessed her with deeply touched my heart.  During the past couple of years, Nanny has been placed into an assisted living facility due to her ongoing battle with Alzheimer’s and dementia.  My mother-in-law decided that she wanted the legacy of her mother to live on, so she created a project that each of our families are to carry out every Christmas season.  Each family receives a certain dollar amount that they are asked to use to serve other people in need this Christmas season.  There are no parameters on what can be/should be accomplished, other than to spend the money in a creative manner, as a family, and to help others in need.  These projects have always been interesting as we seek to involve our children in the planning, purchasing, and giving of these projects.  This year, we chose to take the gift and “adopt” a foster child, who would not have a Christmas without the sponsorship of someone.  We talked about this project with our children, took them to the store to shop for gifts for this little boy (which was a small challenge considering our son is the same age and has several of the same interests), and wrapped the gifts for this special little boy to open on Christmas morning.  As I mentioned, this is a challenge to involve a two and four year old in the project sometimes, but the teaching moments that have come from this are wonderful. 

            This is simply one way that we have chosen to celebrate Christmas each year.  I am thankful for my wife’s family, their giving spirit, and their desire to carry on the legacy of a wonderful woman for many years to come.  So as you reflect upon, your Christmas season this year, what are some ways that you are seeking to celebrate Christmas?  What are some steps that you can take to work together as a family to share the blessings that God has given to you?  May you find a new or special way to celebrate Christmas this year as a family!

How Are You At Waiting?

          Currently our family is undergoing a challenge of waiting.  I have to be honest that as someone who likes to have some sense of control and direction on things, this is extremely challenging.  While it is challenging it has caused me to think about a couple of different items in my life.

First, I think it is necessary to provide the context why we are waiting currently.  We made a decision six months ago to move to Ohio to start in a new ministry position.  This opportunity has been incredible as I am blessed to work with a great staff, amazing volunteers, and students that are hungry for the Word of God to make a difference in their lives.  As with any move to a new setting you need a place to live, which we found in the form of a rental property that we were going to call home for a year.  However, after six months of encountering challenges with this property we have been released from our lease and free to find another housing option.  It was amazing how God paved the way for us to get out of our rental property, have the necessary funds to purchase a home of our own, and provide the perfect house for our family.  As we moved through the process things have progressed very well, however with almost everything being completed we were asked to wait before we find out our closing/moving date.  Maybe this is challenging because Christmas is coming and I wanted to be in our own home for that special day.  Maybe this is challenging because I like to have some form of control in my life, which I think we all secretly really want.  Or maybe this is challenging because I am not willing to trust God completely.  This last one caught me off-guard as I have been wrestling through some thoughts this week, but may be the most accurate. 

I have been working through the book Greater by Steven Furtick recently and I stumbled across this prayer/explanation yesterday in my reading.  “Here’s my life, Lord.  It’s open ended.  And it’s pointed the direction of the next step You call me to take.  No matter what it costs.’ This is what’s crazy about fully surrendering to God in this way: On the one hand, it feels as if you’re losing control.  Because essentially you are.  But on the other hand, an amazing freedom comes from praying a prayer like that.  Because when you do, your heavenly Father takes the outcome of your obedience into His responsible hands.  You no longer have to carry the weight on your own.’”  I have to be honest and let you know that after reading that quote some things in my life started to come in a little clearer.  I started to reflect on everything that God had done for me in my life, things like, all of the times that He provided for me, the times that He took care of my family even when I couldn’t, the times that He guided me through difficult situations / circumstances / conversations, just to name a few.  I then wondered why is it so hard for me to trust God with this situation.  As I was thinking about that I read another quote from the same book that said “God does not necessarily tell you how He will do it, only that He will do it.”  In the pages that followed the book reflects on the story of Abraham, who God calls to leave his home and go to the land that God will show him.  God didn’t tell him where or when he would find it but simply that God would lead him there.  Our family currently finds ourselves in a similar boat in that we know where God is leading but we don’t know when.

After reflecting on these thoughts for almost a day, I wondered if anyone else is having this same struggle right now in their life.  Maybe it’s with a situation of where to move.  Maybe it’s with a situation surrounding your job.  Maybe it’s with a bold dream that you’ve never had the courage to pursue.  Maybe it’s waiting on God to reveal the next step for your life, family, or ministry.  Whatever the case what would your life look like if you began to trust God more, became comfortable in the waiting stages of life, and celebrated the arrival when you got to your destination?