What Catching My Garage on Fire Taught Me about Course Correction

          As a child I had a fascination with science, which always interesting to me because I hated math class.  I was always under the impression that the two went hand-in-hand however in my life they never did.  Maybe it was the chemistry or physics but for whatever reason science excited me and I loved learning about it.  Perhaps was the award I won in fifth grade at our annual science fair for doing a project that was well beyond my years and knowledge (although in all honesty it came straight out of our textbook)!  For whatever reason, I loved science and doing experiments that helped me learn more about the world.

One afternoon I decided that I would try an experiment in our garage using a candle, a plastic cup, and rubbing alcohol.  (As a parent I now look back on this experience as one of the most foolish things I ever did as a child).  I began by putting the rubbing alcohol in the cup and lighting the candle.  My thought was that the wax would drip from the candle over the rubbing alcohol and seal it in the cup.  After a couple of sparks, the experiment began to work and I thought I was proving myself right, but then something changed and reminded me why I was a child in the garage and not on a television show doing science experiments.  A piece of the wick broke loose and fell into the cup lighting it and a large section of our wood paneling on the wall on fire.  I quickly tried to think of ways to put out the fire without my parents knowing but then realized the fire was spreading so I yelled for my mom to come and help me.  As she rushed out the door the first concern was getting the spreading fire out, while the second (which I was dreading more) would be the punishment to follow.  We were able to get the fire out and then I had to tell my dad about my “experiment” gone bad when he got home.  I remember thinking that I would receive the punishment of a lifetime because there was (and still is a nice black mark on the garage wall from this); however the result was drastically different.  My dad encouraged my creativity and liked my initiative in trying an experiment.  I explained to him that I could have burnt the entire house down, leaving us homeless, which he understood but yet he encouraged my creativity.  Later I did get grounded for a significant amount of time but that seemed minor in the grand scheme of things.

      This experience however taught me a couple interesting lessons about life.  The first is never to mix any type of alcohol with an open flame.  But the second is that I should have paid more attention to the few “sparks” that popped out of the cup at the start of the experiment rather than ignoring them and catching a portion of the wall on fire.  This past week we challenged our students to look for warning signs in their lives to deter them from pain and hardship.  I understand that not all suffering or pain comes with a warning sign but many times there are small things that could catch our attention if we were looking for them.  Think about your own life and ask yourself what would have happened if I was looking for a warning sign?  Then think about the question, what would have happened if I turned around when I saw it?  Each person and situation will be different but the reality of potentially avoiding pain, suffering, or hardship should present itself.

So my question for you today is, “What will you gain if you change direction in certain areas of your life?”  As you wrestle with this question think about the choices you have made in your life that have taken you to the path you are on.  Were there warning signs along the road?  Were there opportunities to make a course correction on your journey?  Rather than spending time beating yourself up about past decisions, is there a way to make a shift on your path now?  If so I challenge you to be bold enough to take it, making your course correction and hopefully avoiding pain, suffering, or heartache in the future.

            Over the next few weeks we will continue this journey through our Road Signs series which is designed to have us look at the road signs of life and provide students and their families with questions for discussion that connect to the lessons we are presenting weekly.  Our hope is that you will join us on this journey as we seek to navigate the road of our lives laid out before us while seeking to be attentive to God’s directions.

Intensions vs. Direction

          Shortly after getting my driver’s license I remember setting out on a quest to prove that I could get to where I needed to go and do so by myself.  This was partially attributed to the fact that I was a teenager but more so because I wanted to be a man, proving that I could do it alone.  I wanted to begin to establish my independence so what better way than to take a road trip somewhere I had never been before and then come back home all without the help of an atlas or map (keep in mind this was pre-GPS). 

As I began my journey, I believed that I could accomplish anything and that this journey would be life-changing and memorable.  Well, it was both of those things because over an hour later I found myself in some deserted town, literally in the middle of nowhere.  The sun was beginning to set and I knew I was in trouble.  I did what every good man does in this situation, which was sucking up my pride and calling for help.  I dialed my home phone number and waited for my mom or dad to answer the phone.  As I began to describe the situation to them, they didn’t laugh or ridicule me, they simply gave me a few simple instructions of how to get back home.  As I walked in the door that night, they didn’t push the issue because they knew that I had learned my lesson and that it probably wouldn’t happen again (at least not intentionally).

That evening taught me a powerful lesson that I was able to share with our students this past week.  When I set out that evening I had the best intentions of establishing my independence, proving myself as a good driver, and feeling like I had accomplished something.  As I started driving I didn’t plan on getting lost, know when I was getting lost, I just knew that I was lost!  However, despite my good intentions my direction ultimately determined my destination.  That evening taught me the important lesson which was that “Your direction, not your intensions, determines your destination.”  Our culture tells us that as long as your intentions are good, it doesn’t matter what path you take.  But the path you take trumps your good intensions. 

The path we choose with our families, faith journey, words and actions does indeed trump our intentions because it can guide us in a different direction entirely.  An example of this is desiring to have a deeper relationship with God, but when we wake up each morning we check our email, scroll through our Twitter feed, or favorite photos on Instagram.    

So my question for you today is, “Is your direction, not your intensions taking you to the destination that you desire to go?”  As you wrestle with this question think about the differences between intensions and direction, which will help guide you through this process.  (You could start by using these two examples which have transferrable phrases for every area of your life):

·       What are your intensions for your family?  Is the direction you are heading taking you to where you want to go?

·       What are your intensions with your faith journey?  Is the direction you are heading taking you to where you want to go?

            Over the next few weeks we will continue this journey through our Road Signs series which is designed to have us look at the road signs of life and provide students and their families with questions for discussion that connect to the lessons we are presenting weekly.  Our hope is that you will join us on this journey as we seek to navigate the road of our lives laid out before us while seeking to be attentive to God’s directions.

Is Your GPS Broken?

          When I learned to drive at the age of fifteen I always hoped that I would be able to find my destination without getting lost.  I remember learning how to navigate a map because I was still learning to drive before GPS’s were everywhere.  There were a few times that I ended up lost, which is bound to happen, however today I would like to share one joyous experience that happened with my navigation skills.

            After my freshman year in college, I went to work at a church summer camp that I had fallen in love during my high school years.  This camp is very dear to my heart as I have several amazing memories of meeting new friends and having God work in my life there.  When the opportunity presented itself to work on staff at the camp I willingly jumped on board.  Being my first summer after a year of college I was still trying to get used to the whole “being an adult” thing which meant being away from my family most weekends.  One weekend in particular I was scheduled to work the entire weekend, which happened to coincide with our family reunion.  I remember having to tell my parents that I couldn’t be there, who were saddened that their “little boy” wouldn’t be joining them.  However, at the last minute on Friday afternoon our director informed me that we had done such a great job that week, that we could have the entire weekend off.  I became very excited as I thought about what an amazing surprise it would be for me to surprise my parents and the rest of my family at the reunion.  I quickly packed a bag, hopped in the car and drove to one of the few gas stations in town.  I bought an atlas and off I went, however shortly into the drive I realized that I didn’t know exactly where the reunion was, let alone how to get there.  I pulled off on an exit and thought up a plan of contacting another family member who informed me of the location of the hotel and the reunion which led me right back on the road.  A couple of hours later I found myself pulling into the hotel parking lot excited to see my family.  This experience taught me a couple things about driving, directions, and attempting to pull off surprises for other people.  First, I realized that even though my intentions were good about surprising my family, without the proper directions I couldn’t get there.  Second, at the first warning sign (not knowing where I was going); I needed to stop, get some advice, and turn around.  Thankfully since then directions have come pretty easily to me either through our GPS or my phone, but usually after one trip somewhere I can find my way back several times without any assistance.

 

            After thinking back to this story I recalled the number of times our lives are similar to this.  How many times to we get in the car, press the accelerator without any idea of where we are going?  How many times to we ignore the warning or caution signs on the side of the road to get to where we think our destination is?  How do we know if we are even on the right road?  These are all questions that parallel driving and our journey of faith.  We must be willing to acknowledge the road signs of life; before we drift so far off the road we cause damage to ourselves or others.

            As we move through the next few weeks at Refuge, our youth ministry at Faith UMC we will be discussing a series called Road Signs.  Here is a snapshot of this series:  “If you set your course in the wrong direction, you’ll end up in the wrong place every time.  No matter where you hope to end up, the road you choose matters.  The book of Proverbs gives us wisdom to help navigate the choices of life, because we know that each choice determines the direction of our lives.  And it’s our direction, not our intention that ultimately determines our destination.  Where are you heading?  What path are you on?”

            Over the next few weeks we will be journeying through this series looking at the road signs of life and providing our families with questions for discussion that connect to the lessons we are presenting their students.  Our hope is that you will join us on this journey as we seek to navigate the road of our lives laid out before us while seeking to be attentive to God’s directions.

Finding a Pearl in the Mess of Failure

          “There once was a leader who was young and full of ideas.  His mind blossomed with thoughts about what could be in the lives of the students that he ministered to.  He desired to build a ministry that others would envy which would undoubtedly fulfill his calling from God.  This young man devoted his mind and heart to create the best possible events, lessons, and activities for students, which he was sure, would alter their lives forever.  On the night of the first event he prepared the room for several hundred people, only to have a handful show up.  Shortly after the event his phone began to ring from frustrated volunteers, confused parents, and an upset boss.  This young leader couldn’t understand where his plan or desire to impact the world for Christ had gone so wrong.  However, several years later it all became extremely clear through a conversation with a beloved mentor. 

            During this conversation the mentor spoke into the life of the young leader and he discovered the missing element in his ministry, collaboration.  Taking into account the ideas of others was something that this young leader had overlooked because of his lone ranger approach to ministry.  It was on this night that he realized a missing piece in his leadership and altered his approach drastically.”

            Does this story sound at all familiar?  For me, personally, it rings true because it is my story.  As a young leader I believed that I could change the world, solely by myself.  Needless to say it wasn’t until a beloved mentor spoke the truth into my life, that I began to understand the need to listen to and involve others in my ideas.  In all honesty I love the feeling of success much more than the taste of gravel in my mouth from falling on my face.  The need to collaborate with others is something that is crucial to the success of any leader.  The effects of collaboration are numerous however here are three positive effects that deserve attention.

1.    Collaboration creates innovation-Your team will be introduced to ideas and systems they may never encounter otherwise.  This will often lead to fresh thinking and better solutions within your own organization.

2.    Collaboration reduces unnecessary risk-Sharing time, resources, and brainpower makes the risks less.

3.    Collaboration amplifies success-More input leads to more output, which results in a win/win for everyone.

Based on these effects it is safe to say that collaboration breeds success.  We need other people as Mother Teresa reminded us of by saying, “You can do what I cannot do.  I can do what you cannot do.  Together we can do great things.”  In other words we need other people to achieve our goals.  As I thought about this final principle presented in the book The Catalyst Leader I was reminded of the great leaders throughout history.  Were they great because of their decision making, bold spirits, and ability to lead, sure.  But ultimately, I think they were successful because of the people that they surrounded themselves with.  Author C.S. Lewis stated, “The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”  In other words, we need the ideas, input, and feedback of other people in order to create something innovative, fresh, and lasting.

So how do we build a spirit of collaboration on our teams?  Here are six keys that Charles Lee, the founder of the Ideation Conference shares as insights:

·       Make sure expectations are clearly laid out on the front end. - Define the wins and create clear expectations and agreements from both sides including defining what success looks like.

·       Stay adaptive, humble, and accessible - Seek to build a culture of trust where everyone is approachable, transparent, authentic and strives listen well.

·       See collaboration as a need, not just an option-It is messy, but it can work.  Creativity comes out of great collaboration.

·       Choose wisely - Everything is publically available so choose wisely.  Good partnerships start with a deep knowledge of the other person/company/product.

·       Be intentional in finding common areas of interest and connection - Intentionality requires us to follow up again and again but it won’t seem like work if we share passion/interest about the idea/product

·       Make connections - Connect friends within your respective circles by being others-focused.

Collaboration is a wonderful thing when used wisely and effectively.  The sharing of ideas, feedback, and even criticism can be one of the most beneficial things that you do as a team.  Just remember the words of this anonymous author when seeking to develop a culture of collaboration, “You don’t have to blow out someone else’s candle to make yours shine brighter.”