What’s Holding You Back?

          This week our students we finished their series write.rewrite focusing on the stories of our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We are all drawn to great stories - whether that's on the big screen, small screen, in a book or elsewhere. But we may be completely unaware of one simple truth - that our lives are a story as well. The decisions we make every day are shaping the plot. The things we do, believe and trust determine what is being written. And for many of us, the story we are scripting could be so much more if we let God write, or even rewrite, our story. It’s the story we long for, the one our hearts truly desire.” 

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The third week’s discussion questions read as follows, “What holds you back from trusting God completely?  What would it take for you to surrender that reluctance?  How might your life become a bigger story than the one you live now?

 

            A few years ago I was meeting with a mentor and discussing my gifts for ministry.  Part of our time together was spent examining various gifts and downfalls that I had as a leader.  Following one of the tests the results came back and I learned something interesting about myself, I was a control freak!  Now my tendency to plan and be organized are good things to possess to be a leader but I have to admit that when I spend a great amount of time laying out a plan, I feel as though it should be followed.  Needless to say, I struggle with control as I think that most of do if we are really honest with ourselves.  However, after really looking at my personality I discovered that the real reason I want control is because I feel like it protects me.  Having a laid out plan, which can be followed easily prevents me from dealing with the unknown or another fear of mine which is the fear of failure.  Through time though I have discovered that even the best laid out plan can fail and the truth of the matter is that I am never really in control of any situation. 

            I was reminded of these things during our recent transition into our new home.  We had a plan laid out, all the paperwork was signed, and the money was paid.  However, despite all of our planning and organization (stemming from my desire for control) fell apart when the sale crumbled because the seller wouldn’t fix some windows that had lead based paint on them.  I found my entire world shaken because I wasn’t able to provide one of the basic necessities for my family which was that of a home.  I felt helpless and realized again that I was never really in control of any of this process.  During this time we have been humbled by the gifts of others, blessed by God as He has provided for our family, and experienced the love of our family as we have lived with the bare necessities over the past month.

            Through this experience I have been reminded that my desire for control often keeps me from trusting God completely.  My desire to plan and anticipate “what’s next” caused me to slip away from whole-heartedly following God’s will.  I found myself being anxious and wondering “if” rather than “when” God would provide for our family.  For me to surrender my reluctance came in the form of having the comforts and securities of “home” taken away from me and putting our entire family in a vulnerable position.  This has not been an easy process to endure as the uncertainty has far outweighed our plans but God has still provided for us and taken care of us as His children.

            After forty-two days on Friday, we are able to move into our new house (a different one than we started with) and have that sense of security again.  During this time God has stretched us as a family, illustrated many of the blessings that we take for granted, and brought us closer together as a family.  Although we have learned a great deal through this process, I am fine with staying in our new home for many years to come so that we don’t have to endure a similar process again. 

            So what are you holding onto that is keeping you from trusting God completely?  What would cause you to let go of your reluctance?  Finally, how can you live, more fully, into God’s story?

Bending Without Breaking

            Have you ever had one of those moments where you stop, look up to heaven and ask God what else could happen to you?  I think if we are all honest we have all had these moments.  Those moments in our lives where every situation we face seems to be a difficult and compounding way of doing life, to the point where we feel like we are going to break. 

            Throughout my own personal life, I have had several of these moments where I wonder what else could possibly happen in my life.  There always seem to be one more thing and the sad part is that the “one more thing” wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t compounded with everything else.  In those moments of despair I remember a few of my companions in college who loved to quote the phrase “If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it.”  I have to admit that when I heard this phrase in the midst of a struggle I wasn’t really reassured; in fact I became upset because of the complexity of what I was dealing with.  But the fact remained that if God only gave me what I could handle it would minimize my need for a personal relationship with Him.

            I recently encountered one of these situations with our family.  As many of you are aware, we moved out of a rental house the week before Christmas anticipating that we would be in our own house the following day.  However, the deal fell through and we were left without a home for the entire week of Christmas.  Since then we have been living in an apartment and diligently working on getting into the house of our dreams.  There have been a few speed bumps along the way, but it looks like we should be able to move into our new home on February 1^st.  But before we were aware of our housing situation being resolved (just last week) I was driving home only to find that our steering, brakes, and really everything else on my car went out.  Somehow, simply a miracle, I was able to coast into a local grocery store (actually a parking spot) safely.  I remember thinking it was a small problem that I could fix however I quickly realized that was not the case and had to have our car towed.  Initially the repair shop told me it would be about $200.00 and could be ready the next day so I left the car there overnight.  But upon further inspection they found that the timing belt had broken, the water pump needed replaced, and the power steering unit was leaking.  Needless to say it was a costly repair but we were able to get it fixed.  Shortly after picking up the car a couple of days later, it broke down again because a wire was not properly grounded when the repairs were done.  As I sat on the side of the road again, with my son in the backseat I found myself asking God what else could go wrong.  My entire life was upside down as I was without a car, without a house (at least one with our stuff in it), and feeling frustrated.  As I was dealing with all of these feelings, my son small voice piped up in the back seat and said, “Daddy, it’s alright, everything will be alright.”  Tears began to fill my eyes as this small child understood the need for consoling his father when everything around him seemed to be falling apart.  At that moment I remembered the words of my wife who said, “God has always been faithful to us, so why would that change now?”  God has indeed been faithful to our family through several trying situations but the fact remains that He still loves us, cares for us and provides for us through everything.  Those gentle reminders continue to push me through the daily challenges that I face because it is a reminder that God loves me and cares for me, even in the midst of the chaos.

            So in the midst of your challenges do you feel like God is with you, guiding your path or like He has deserted you completely?  The truth is that, He is right beside you waiting for you to lean into His arms and depend upon His faithfulness.  By doing this you will find that your situations will work for the good and solutions will be reached.  God is indeed faithful and will guide you if you let Him.

How Did I Get Here?

          This week our students we continued in their series write.rewrite focusing on the stories of our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We are all drawn to great stories - whether that's on the big screen, small screen, in a book or elsewhere. But we may be completely unaware of one simple truth - that our lives are a story as well. The decisions we make every day are shaping the plot. The things we do, believe and trust determine what is being written. And for many of us, the story we are scripting could be so much more if we let God write, or even rewrite, our story. It’s the story we long for, the one our hearts truly desire.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The second week’s discussion questions read as follows (for the parent to answer), “Have you ever found yourself in a place in your life where you wondered, ‘How did I get here?’  If you retraced your steps, what were the decisions you made that led you there?  Each one of you take a decision in your life (whether good or bad) and track the steps that led you to the end result.”

            Directions are something that I have thankfully always had a knack for.  This is not because I am man, who believes you should never ask for directions, it’s just something that comes easily to me.  If I drive somewhere one time I am usually able to get back there again without the assistance of a GPS, my phone, or a map.  I can’t explain why this is the case for me, but it works wonderfully when I’m trying to get to and from places easily.  I first became aware of this when I decided at the last minute one year to drive to our family reunion.  I was working at a summer camp and wanted it to be a surprise to my family that I was coming, so I had to figure out a way to get to where I was going.  I went to the local gas station to buy a map, quickly scouted it out, and started driving.  A few hours later I was there and to this day I am easily able to get back to that town from almost anywhere.  This ability to understand directions and travel easily has been something that I love and it has helped me out several times throughout my life.  However, as someone who has directions come easily to him, the same can also be said for when our lives don’t go as planned and there is a hiccup in the process.

            As I look back on my life the most noticeable occurrence of having my life track shifted came when I was preparing to ask my wife to marry me.   We had been dating for a while and knew from the first date that we were going to get married.  With that in mind, I perfected a wonderful proposal, picked out the perfect ring, and prepared myself for that challenging conversation with her dad.  The last piece of this puzzle was where the hiccup hit; I had arranged to sit down with my father-in-law at Bob Evans for breakfast one morning.  I had the entire discussion laid out in my mind, with a joyful acceptance coming from him and a welcome to the family.  However, as we started down that road in the discussion I was suddenly stopped in my tracks.  As I asked for my wife’s hand in marriage, her father replied with a direct, “No and here is why.”  He then pulled a list out of his pocket as to why he wouldn’t approve of me marrying his daughter.  As you can imagine I was crushed and ended up leaving the restaurant in tears.  I called Mindy telling her everything and then it hit us both.  We had stopped communicating with her parents about our relationship.  She was still living at home with them and we had completely isolated ourselves from them.  We stopped telling them about the progression of the relationships, how we had worked through things that were once an issue, and how much we were committed to making this work.  After that realization, we sat down with her parents and walked through the issues that we had worked through together and then her parents seemed more at ease with me marrying their little girl. Seven years later, we have a wonderful relationship with her parents, but it still amazes me how quickly we veered off course.  It wasn’t until we stepped back that we realized where the break was and the problems that it caused.  By retracing our steps we were able to determine the best remedy to the problem and work towards a solution.

            Have you ever had a time where you stepped back and looked at the situation and asked, “How did I get here?”  Did you take the time to retrace your steps and see if there was an answer to this question, along with a possible solution?  My challenge to you this week is to look back through the decisions that you have made where you have asked the question, “How did I get here?” and seek to find some lessons that you could learn through wrong turns and directions that were not followed.  As your do so communicate this to loved one or close friend in order to have accountability for the future and work towards staying on the right path.

Are You Connected to the Bigger Story?

          This past week our students we started a new series write.rewrite focusing on the stories of our lives.  Here is a snapshot of this series, “We are all drawn to great stories - whether that's on the big screen, small screen, in a book or elsewhere. But we may be completely unaware of one simple truth - that our lives are a story as well. The decisions we make every day are shaping the plot. The things we do, believe and trust determine what is being written. And for many of us, the story we are scripting could be so much more if we let God write, or even rewrite, our story. It’s the story we long for, the one our hearts truly desire.”

Each week includes a discussion question/point that our parents and their students are encouraged to wrestle through together.  The first week’s discussion questions read as follows, “What are some of your favorite stories (in movies, books, etc.)?  What specifically about those stories do you love?  Read Ecclesiastes 3:11.  Do you ever wish your life was “more” than what it is now?  If yes, why?”

My name is Matt and I have a problem.  I love movies of all kinds and have a tendency to buy new ones almost every Tuesday when new releases come out, even if I haven’t seen them yet.”  This was the statement that I had to make shortly after I got married to my wonderful wife.  I have always loved getting a new movie, cracking open the plastic, putting in the DVD player and getting lost in another story for a couple of hours.  Some would classify this as an addiction but for me it was a way of life all through my college years.  However, once my wife entered the picture, I quickly found the need to spend my money more wisely and not accumulate so much debt (and stuff from the movie cases themselves).  But isn’t there just something wonderful about connecting with the character(s) of a movie or book in a way that removes the daily problems and struggles of our lives?  I found this to be true in my own life, especially when I watched movies that told a great story about a hero who always wins of course! 

As a little boy I remember growing up loving the stories that many little boys do about being a hero.  I found myself wanting to dress up like them, defeat the villains, and rescue the damsel in distress almost daily.  As I grew up those same desires were still present in my heart, even though I had to change my wardrobe a little.  (I know that I’m in youth ministry but what would the church think if I showed up one day dressed as a super-hero?)  But despite being an adult for several years now I find myself still drawn to those types of stories.  Why?  I think author John Eldredge described it best in his book, Wild at Heart, when he states “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.  That is how he bears the image of God; that is what God made him to be.”  I know this is true in my own life that when I approach or see something that could potentially harm my family or my own well-being, my blood starts pumping faster and I get excited.  I long to be connected to some grand story of adventure and discovery where my beautiful wife is the grand prize in need of rescuing.  These items connect with my heart deeply and resonate within my soul.  Perhaps this is why I found myself seeking to “lose” myself in movies rather than living my life in a manner that embraces these elements.  Throughout our seven years of marriage there has been numerous times where I have found myself lost in a larger story, fighting battles, living on the cusp of adventure, and rescuing the beauty of my life.  These components of the story connect to my heart and make me feel alive!

Now let’s transition to the Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:11 states, “He has made everything appropriate in its time.  He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end.”

God created everything perfect in its time and set eternity in our hearts.  I don’t know about you but thinking about eternity is one of those things that used to strike a little bit of fear in me because I struggled with the thought of thinking about something that was larger than me or my own understanding.  However, as I have spent time reflecting on my life I realized that everything is connected and in fact I am a small part in God’s larger story that is unfolding around me daily.  This connection often provides an adventure that rarely unfolds as I plan, a love story between God and His creation (me), and a daily battle of my choices seeking to affirm my relationship with God or running from Him.  As I reached this moment of reflection I found myself realizing that my life was “more” than I had ever dreamed and will continue to be for the remainder of my life so long as I let God lead. 

So what about you, what stories connect with your soul and ignite your passions?  Do you feel as though your life could/should be “more?”  Do you see how you connect to God’s larger story in your life?  My challenge to you this week is to look at what elements of stories connect to your heart and seek to live those out in your personal relationship with God.

Looking Back to Move Forward

          It has been amazing to me over the past few days to see the number of people who are sharing their New Year’s resolution on Facebook.  These people are eagerly looking forward to the New Year of 2013 believing that it will hold a great deal of joy, encouragement, and blessings for both them and their families.  This morning I read a study about the fact that only 45% of Americans set New Year’s resolutions of that percentage only about 12% actually follow through with them during the next twelve months.  Now, I don’t share all of this to discourage you or even make you feel like you cannot live up to your resolution but to encourage you to think about the entire process in a different light.

            A few years ago a wise man spoke some truth into my life about this very thought of setting, keeping, and evaluating our resolutions every year.  He told me that one of the easiest ways that he had found to move forward with a resolution (or several) is to look back on what God has done in your life over the past year.  He made it a habit to journal consistently about the various ways that he had seen God working in and through the situations of his daily life throughout the year.  He took the opportunity of New Year’s Day to read back through and reflect upon the work of God in His life.  As I started thinking about this in my life over the past year there are several amazing things that God has done in my life over the past twelve months, which have lead me to think about the way I live my life in the coming year.  However, for the sake of this blog entry I will choose two life-altering decisions that will affect how I move my life forward in the coming months.

            The first of these workings of God centers on my accepting of a new ministry position.  Last January both my wife and I started feeling like God was calling us to a new ministry position somewhere closer to our families.  We found ourselves looking all over for a new position in ministry as we felt our time in the south was drawing to a close.  In May we journeyed to North Canton, Ohio to interview at Faith UMC.  While I felt as though the interview was confirmation for us to move and Mindy felt as though her time in town was confirmation we had to wait on the phone call from the search committee which came a few days later.  I held my breath as I listened to the words of the head of the Staff Parish committee offered me the job.  Unfortunately our house had horrible cell phone reception so I had to ask him to repeat the offer to make sure that I heard him right.  A couple of weeks later we found ourselves moving back to the Midwest, starting over in a new church, and feeling blessed that God provided this transition for us.

Through this experience, I was reminded of the blessing of “fresh starts” that come in our lives.  I was reminded of the “fresh start” that God gave me at the age of fourteen at a lock-in when I accepted Him into my heart for the first time.  I was reminded of the “fresh start” that He extended to me when I accepted my call to ministry almost two years later, changing my career path drastically.  I was reminded of the “fresh start” that we have because of God’s forgiveness, grace, and love in my life.  Overall this experience reminded me of the depth of God’s love for me personally and His provision for my life. 

Fast forward to the end of the 2012, where our family felt the need to purchase a home that would be our own.  This was something that we wanted to do for our children to provide stability in their lives and allow us to establish some “roots” in our local community.  We were excited when the first offer we made was accepted and it looked as though everything would work out perfectly for us to be in our own home for Christmas.  However, as we inched toward our closing date, several “hiccups” started occurring in the process.  We felt ourselves growing in frustration and questioning the timing of the numerous “barriers” that were popping up everywhere.  We finally withdrew our offer from this house and walked away uncertain of where we would live for the next few months.  However, again God provided something amazing for family.  We were blessed to be able to get into an apartment, with a short term lease, the day we came back to town from celebrating Christmas with our families.  We also found out that another house, which happened to be my wife’s favorite home that we saw was still on the market and available.  We submitted an offer and are in the process of negotiating the price with the owners as I write this. 

            This process of purchasing a home has probably given me more gray hairs than my children because of the stress, uncertainty, and drastic turns that have taken place through it all.  However, I am reminded of my wife’s words, “God has always taken care of us through everything, why would He let us down now?”  These words have echoed deep in my soul throughout the recent weeks, as God has provided in an amazing way for our family.  He has provided the funds in our bank account.  He has provided a bed for us to sleep in every night with a roof over our heads.  He has provided a house, that we believe is the house we are supposed to be in (not to mention several of the updates that we wanted are already accomplished) in His timing.  While we may not have an understanding as to why this situation unfolded the way it did, one thing remains true; God is faithful to us, so shouldn’t we be faithful to Him as well.

            Looking back reminds us of where we have been, so that we can live through the present, and soar into the future!  I am thankful for these words that were offered up to me a few years ago and I challenge you to look at what God has done in your life over the past twelve months and where He wants to take you in the next tweleve.